Happiness

[Deleted]

I suppose it's an obvious question but what excactly IS happiness? Mos tof us can pointt to things that make us happy from a beautiful sunset to our team winning in the footie, to a nice meal or cuddling up to someone we love. Listening to music, dancing, gardening, all kinds of stuff can make you happy.

The trouble is we can't FORCE ourselves to be happy. You can't wake up one morning and DECIDE you're going to be happyh today. Happiness is a feeling or a state of mind and like all those things it just COMES - it's beyond your control.

The same thing can afffect different people differently For instance I;m a West Ham supporter and Lin supports Chelsea. The other day we played each other in the Premiership and the Hammers won 3-1. I was happy, Lin was most likely sad about the SAME event.

The fact that happiness IS beyond our control is interesting. We can put a lid on our feelings but we can't make them up. You can't DECIDE to fall in love with someone, to like a food you hate or whatever.

So is happiiness a gift? EEven if you take what the boffins say about neruonss and synapses and all that it's still quite weird.

Why do some men prefer blondes, others brunettes, some redheads? Why do some men prefer women with fuller figures while others go for skinny girls? Why do some people prefer somehting and others the ooppostie?

All we know is HOW we feel but not really WHY we feel the way we do when it comes to happiness.

Why do some people needs loads of money and things to felel happy while others are happy living on next to nothing?

Is happiness abut our quality of life?

Or is it just about feeling good in ourselves?

Any ideas, folks?

[sadie1263]

I think it has to do with attitude. Sort of the glass is half empty or half full scenario......it's up to you how you perceive things. Also upbringing has a lot to do with it.......you can have rich and poor that are happy or unhappy......what you learn and/or are taught to cherish or find important........

[Hunny]

mm..HAPPINESS.
Sounds like a subject for philosophers.
Cliff Clavin said happiness was comfortable shoes.
But Cliff Clavin was a postman.
One thing I know about why some people are more, let's say, 'content' than others is that some folks have a mind that is active even if there is nothing around them, and they feel contented even in a boring empty room, while others have less active minds and if put in the same situation would go astir. They need to be DOING something otherwise they feel anxious, bothered, that which we call "bored".

And being content rather than bored is what Csikszentmihalyi (author of Flow ) said results from "the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does."
So...you could always keep busy.

Another thing that effects happiness is just plain getting enough exercise. If you don't, you'll feel bad, and it will only get worse. A daily walk at the very least is needed for anyone to keep their spirits up.

Happiness also results from not being depressed. (Yea, that seems a strange thing to say, but if you've ever been clinically depressed - and statistically one in four people will at some point - then you know that a normal feeling of happiness is near impossible to achieve when in that condition.
Again, walk each day to cure that.

Lastly happiness arises from a sense of accomplishment (which brings us back to the concept of Flow. One needs a goal they are working for, an engrossing project.). Although when accomplishment wished for is disappointed, deflation occurs. This is natural and I think cant be avoided. So you go take a walk and regroup. And if you can be a natural optimist who has a goal, you can always suffer a let down and bob right back up (regroup, begin again)...and that's what I know about happiness.

If I were to guess, the people who can be the happiest are the ones who stay busy, and are naturally optimistic (or chose to be, as Sadie pointed out).

And it helps if you don't have crushing problems you can't surmount (though those can translate into a goal and be met with optimism).

It also helps to have reasonably good health. (but again-> the optimism, the keeping busy ..Those seem to be the key.