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Post by chips on Aug 10, 2012 1:12:13 GMT
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Post by sadie1263 on Aug 10, 2012 2:34:25 GMT
Seriously? Why would anyone want to be around a doormat? "A small moan is quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had" register reluctance by remaining silent and hope he goes to sleep? Do you ever think men that were completely inadequate wrote these things?
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Post by chips on Aug 10, 2012 3:41:42 GMT
Seriously? Why would anyone want to be around a doormat? "A small moan is quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had" register reluctance by remaining silent and hope he goes to sleep? Do you ever think men that were completely inadequate wrote these things? Ah!!! a lost age sadie and I'm old enough to remember it ending. Men worked hard and their women folk worked even harder and sacrificed much to ensure their families had full bellies. The homes may have been poor but they were always spotless and there was always a penny or two for me at the bottom of my empty grandmothers purse. I oft wonder what the modern miss would do if they had to live under the same condition my grannies generation did.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2012 7:14:12 GMT
By '60s you mean 1860s, surely?
I was at secondary school in the early to mid 60s and we didn't get anything like that. We had some pep talks about how controlling pre-marital relations was entirely the girls' responsibility - probably because those poor weak boys had no control. But we were also expected to have careers.
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Post by chips on Aug 10, 2012 10:24:30 GMT
certainly not the 1960s but it was alive and well in the 1940s skylark.
women came a long way during the war years.
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Post by sadie1263 on Aug 10, 2012 12:38:25 GMT
What poor delicate flowers the men must have been to need instructions like that.......night cream and rollers were too shocking for them......couldn't control themselves so the bathroom needed to always be empty for them....and the poor little souls couldn't set their alarm clocks......
How grateful all of you men must be that we seem to have gotten you all whipped into shape!!!!
lol
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Post by sadie1263 on Aug 10, 2012 12:39:12 GMT
I was thinking 1860's or earlier also Sky!!!!
Yikes! Can you even imagine that???
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Post by Hunny on Aug 10, 2012 13:16:19 GMT
What poor delicate flowers the men must have been to need instructions like that.......night cream and rollers were too shocking for them......couldn't control themselves so the bathroom needed to always be empty for them....and the poor little souls couldn't set their alarm clocks...... How grateful all of you men must be that we seem to have gotten you all whipped into shape!!!! lol I remember the show "All In The Family". Archie Bunker would come home from work, sit in "his" chair, and -in a thick Bronx accent-say "Edith, beer!". And she would drop everything she might have been doing and immediately go get it and open it for him too. That was in the 70's. In my home, I would see my father sitting at the dinner table, within arm's reach of the silverware, yet he would have my Mom stop eating her meal and get up and get him what he wanted and hand it to him. It was awful because they both worked full time, at virtually the same job, yet when they got home, he had no duties at all! She, on the other hand would work around the house right up until bedtime. The word feminist has been given a bad meaning, but really it just means "anyone who believes women are people too" (shocking idea, huh?). But growing up like that drove me towards studying women's history, how women were disempowered, condemned, tortured and burned, and then subjugated as houseworkers without right to self, or to education, or to speak up, or to not be beaten. Women were considered mentally incompetent, as well as weak, so they "couldn't" be allowed to vote or own property or speak in court on their own behalf. My mom -even in the 60's and 70's had to get her husband's permission, in writing, to ask for a bank loan. Her mail came addressed to "Mrs. HIS NAME" And women really did have to promise to obey, when getting married. well, the world has changed hasn't it? One of the changes that made me happy was the change of law that finally let women into sports. When I was young -in golf, for example- women were given a shorter course to shoot, it was marked off with pink, and the male announcers would take the players about as seriously as Lucy on the I Love Lucy show (they thought women were silly, and by wanting to play golf "like the men" oh wasn't it cute how they want to imitate what the real grownups do!). But women persisted and stayed in the game, so then they started slandering them all as "man-handed unibrow lesbians". Well I resented the whole thing, and when years later I saw Annika Sorenstam winning the highest honors in the game, being asked to compete with the men, and being referred to as "not a 'woman golfer', but a golfer"..I was a bit choked up by that. Like that old ad campaign for Benson and Hedges cigarettes; "You've come a long way, baby" - and oh, ain't it the truth.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2012 13:30:18 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2012 13:34:03 GMT
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Post by Hunny on Aug 10, 2012 13:47:24 GMT
This is just tragic... "The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency.
Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife's best friends in this matter. Arguments, nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very effective, if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.
Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. A good wife should expect to have reduced sexual contacts to once a week by the end of the first year of marriage and to once a month by the end of the fifth year of marriage."
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Post by Big Lin on Aug 10, 2012 13:52:06 GMT
I'm quite happy being called Mrs Marshall.
I hate being called Ms Marshall and when I married I gave up my maiden name quite cheerfully.
Considering my Mum's maiden name was Basque Cale I should imagine she was even happier to give up her maiden name!
Now I've got a very unusual (some people have called it a mad) attitude to feminism.
I'm happy not to be a doormat but I DO prefer a man to be a man and not some wimped-out delicate flower who can barely change a lightbulb and who expects a woman to do all his thinking for him.
I'm proud to say that in my household my husband is the boss and I defer to him - well, MOST of the time, anyway!
Seriously, though, there's all the difference in the world between male headship and treating women like nothing. I believe in traditional roles and I'm happy to be a wife and mum first and foremost.
Sure, I'm also a businesswoman and a writer but family always comes first with me.
If that makes me sound like a dinosaur well, what can I do?
I always speak from the heart on matters like this and it's brought me a lot of flak in the past!
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Post by Hunny on Aug 10, 2012 14:14:02 GMT
Oh that was an interesting read. But I wonder if it only seems too bizarre to be true, to us now. It could easily be real. Life actually was like that at the time. According to a PBS documentary, even college was just a place for a young lady to go study "Home Economics" (learn to be a doting, pleasing housewife) and then meet a man to marry and drop out. Getting a degree or in any way competing with the men wasn't the goal then. In the 50's anyway. By the 60's there was much rebellion against this and many other things..and the second wave of feminism began. Are you in England hon? I keep in mind that things may have played out differently in different countries. I'm in the US...both black people and women had been slaves here...and even after such things become history, the effects linger. I'm wondering if women had it a little better over there?
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2012 16:31:54 GMT
I'm in England Hunny, and my mother was a true housewife; she didn't work outside the home and treated bringing up two children and looking after my dad as a full time job. My father came from a family where women has careers, and though he didn't expect Mum to earn money, encouraged her to do things outside the home. I think she had a pretty good life.
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