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Post by lonewolf on Apr 20, 2009 3:47:23 GMT
Why White Men Prefer Asian Women By Fred Reed There is near me an Asian sushi-beer-and-dinner establishment that I´ll call the Asia Spot. The region is urban, so the clientele is a mix of some of just about everything, but the waitresses are all Asian, principally Japanese, Indonesian, Vietnamese, and Thai. The Spot is a neighborhood bar. A large after-work crowd, many of them regulars, gather at happy hour. The social dynamics are curious. It would be an exaggeration to say, as someone did, that the black guys come to pick up white women, and the white men come to get away from them – but it would be an exaggeration of an underlying truth. The waitresses are a large part of the Spot´s appeal. A common subject of conversation among male customers is how very attractive these women are when compared to American women. It is not a thought safe to utter in mixed company. It is a very common thought. American women know it. Why are the Asians attractive? What, to huge numbers of men, makes almost any Asian more appealing than almost any American? The question is much discussed by men at the Spot. (I should say here that when I say “women,” I mean the majority of women, the mainstream, the center of gravity. Yes, there are exceptions and degrees.) American women of my acquaintance offer several explanations, all of them wrong. For example, they say that Asian women are sexually easy. No. American women are sexually easy. The waitresses at the Spot are not available. They date, but they cannot be picked up. Another explanation popular among American women is that men want submissive women, which Asians are believed to be. Again, no. For one thing, submissive people are bland and boring. In any event the waitresses aren´t submissive. Many compete successfully in tough professions. Among Asian waitresses I know I count an electrical engineer who does wide-area networks, and a woman with a masters in biochemistry who, upon finding that research required a Ph.D and didn´t pay, went back to school and became a dentist. Both of these wait tables to help out in the family restaurant. At the Spot I know a woman waitressing her way through a degree in computer security, a bright Japanese college graduate making a career in the restaurant business, and the manager of the Spot – not a light-weight job. Submissiveness has nothing to do with their attractiveness. Why, then, are they so very appealing? To begin with, look at the American women in the Spot. Perhaps a third of them are stylishly dressed. The rest of the gringas run from undistinguished to dumpster-casual: baggy jeans, oversize shirts -- often male shirts -- with the tails out. They seem to affect a sort of homeless chic, actually to want to look bad, and do it with more than a touch of androgyny. A high proportion are at least somewhat overweight. (So are the men, but that´s another subject.) The Asians, without exception, are sleek, well-groomed, and dressed with an understated sexiness that never pushes trashy. Further, the Asians are what were once called “ladies,” a thought repellant to feminists but very so refreshing to men. Listen to the American women at neighboring tables, and you will frequently hear phrases like, “He´s a f---ing piece of shit.” In what appears to be a determined attempt to be men, they have adopted the mode of discourse of a male locker room and made it their normal language. The Asians, classier, better students of men, do not have foul mouths. They presumably know about body parts and bathroom functions, but do not believe that a woman raises her stature by referring to them constantly in mixed company. Men at the Spot, I have noticed, instantly understand that colloquial commentary is not wanted, and don´t engage in it: In the presence of the civilized, men adopt the standards of civilization. Men also tend to think of women as women think of themselves. The Asians, without displaying vanity, clearly think well of themselves. And ought to. All in all, they give the impression that they do not want to be one of the guys. They want to be one of the girls. Here we come to the core of their appeal. Let me elaborate. The default position of American women is what men refer to as “the chip,” a veiled truculence, mixed with a not-very-veiled hostility toward men and a shaky sense of sexual identity. The result is a touchiness reminiscent of hungover ferrets. There is a bandsaw edge to them, a watching for any slight so that they can show that they aren´t going to take it. They are poised to lash out in aggressive defense of their manhood. As best as I can tell, they don´t like being women. Here is the entire problem in five words. The Asians at the Spot show every indication that they do like being women. They do not seem to have anything to prove. Being happy with what they are allows them to be comfortable with what they are not – men. They are not competing to be what they can´t be with people who can´t be anything else. They don´t have to establish their masculinity because they don´t want it. They do not assume, as American women tend to, that femaleness is a diseased condition to be treated by male clothes, gutter language, and bad temper. I´ve spent many dozens of hours chatting with the gals at the Spot, and never seen a sign of the chip. For a man, the experience is wonderful beyond description – smart, pretty, classy women, who are women, and are not the enemy. As long as American women carry the chip, the Asian gals will eat them alive in the dating market. Note that the espousal of hostile obnoxiousness as a guiding philosophy appears to be an almost uniquely American horror. It certainly isn´t requisite to independence or self-respect. I recently met a quite attractive blonde who, among other things, was smart, a long-haul motorcyclist, a student of the martial arts out of sheer athletic enjoyment of it, and an excellent marksman. She was also heterosexual, feminine, delightful company, and had no trace of “the chip.” I was astonished. How was this possible, I wondered? She was Canadian. www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/555526/posts
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Post by iamjumbo on Apr 20, 2009 13:07:26 GMT
Bs with a capital B. the attraction of asian women is purely sexual. in the coarse sense, they are more beautiful than the other races. their beauty is a cuteness, rather than glamor. that is what makes men want them. and no, it is NOT because anyone thinks that asian women's are sideways
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Post by Alpha Hooligan on Apr 20, 2009 13:16:11 GMT
Point 1: Blonde, white women rock!
Point 2: Are we talking Asian as in "Indian" or the Americanised Asian which seems to mean "Oriental"?
AH
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Post by chefmate on Apr 20, 2009 13:22:46 GMT
who cares?
I have worked with Asian women and found most were pleasant but they have their share of throat cutters and back stabbers so nothing glamoreous about these bytches.
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Post by iamjumbo on Apr 20, 2009 20:39:59 GMT
Point 1: Blonde, white women rock! Point 2: Are we talking Asian as in "Indian" or the Americanised Asian which seems to mean "Oriental"? AH point 1. after a couple of dates, if it takes that long, you find out that she's not really blonde. point 2. oriental
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Post by iamjumbo on Apr 20, 2009 20:41:42 GMT
who cares? I have worked with Asian women and found most were pleasant but they have their share of throat cutters and back stabbers so nothing glamoreous about these bytches. in the objectified world, it is about looks. of course, they still make flags.
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Post by Liberator on Apr 20, 2009 22:11:39 GMT
I don't think that it is just Asian (which I think here means Oriental). I do think that he has hit the nail on the head. Any woman who comes across as confident, competent and coherent enough to interact on an equal level has more than half of what makes for attraction. It's only necessary to turn it round and assume the sexes much more alike that different.
Women do not on the whole find men attractive who coma across as either nervous insecure inferiors or as blustering dominant superiors (which is often the first under a shield). Some will allow themselves to be picked up by the latter (and to put up with them) because such men like to throw their money around as well as their weight (both often equally considerable!). You could call it amateur prostitution but it has its parallel in many other forms of mutually beneficial pseudo-friendship, for instance golf partners. Some women will take the shy typical American super-hero alter-ego under their wing but more in a maternal sense than as a friend. Besides, the line between dependence and demanding is so fine that it differs for every person. Incidentally, intellectuals are not necessarily nerds and some of the greatest male minds of the last century were greatly popular with women.
Turn that round. As the writer says, most men do not want a child dependent on them for everything. That dependence soon becomes (or initially hides) a demanding laziness. "I'm only a girl, I can't" translates to "I'm a lazy cow, you be my servant like everybody else throughout my life". Equally, nobody wants a bossy-boots stomping through life demanding everybody put up with whatever they want but they are not going to let their 'rights' or 'freedoms' be infringed by putting up with what anybody else wants. Again, there has been a tradition of this hiding behind a traditional chivalry that the weaker irresponsible girl can't really be held accountable for her irrational emotions and demands: she is emotionally a child compared to the rational responsible man. And of course it generated child-women who never had any reason to be anything else.
The USA is a very aggressive 'masculine' place. It has very little of the cultural balance often seen in Catholic Latin countries with the reputation for men ruling the roost but in practice much more of a division of realms with the home strongly matriarchal, women more often accustomed to working at their own business and men assured enough of themselves to dress fine, show affection, play with children and admit to cultural interests that in parts of the USA might brand them as effeminate. The American men's world takes clear cultural supremacy over the women's in a way that it does not even in Northern Europe.
Somehow American women seem to have often combined the worst of both sides. They accept the value of women's work as downright degrading and following men into the cult of winner takes all no holds barred, while at the same time retaining their traditional expectation of doing as they damned well please because partly they never were held responsible and partly the restrictions of giving a damn about a man as much as they traditionally expect him to care about them amounts to 'patriarchal' repression of their constitutional freedoms that they have so recently regained. In the same way, aggressive equality means that for a man to hold an opinion different from the most pig-ignorant woman threatens her independence with patriarchy.
Far from a sense of genuine relaxed independent equality, American feminism has taught them to look on men and their activities with unquestioning jealousy and a sense of natural injustice because they will either have to cope with children as well as competing with men or not to have children and so leave part of their potential untested. It suits Corporate America of course because it restores traditional corporate values that the Sixties seriously shook up, by extending those values from men to women and removing the earlier feminine challenge.
Non-Americans have a much greater respect for what is usually considered the female realm and men less horror of it or women less expectation that men should regard it with horror. The idea that any American man but a professional chef should be let loose near any kind of cookery more sophisticated than a griddle often comes across as something between a dangerous joke and perversion. Even in Britain, few men still pride themelves on inability to make a pot of tea! Though in reality, often neither sex can chip a spud!
So what he's talking about are simply women who don't feel some problem about not being men. They have nothing to prove, neither an 'equality' that consists of aping men without questioning the value of what they men are doiong, nor of making themselves a kind of parody of the opposite of adult masculinity, a phony lisping baby-doll Monroeism. They just are, equal and certain enough of it not to need to make any points at all beyond being people with something more to think about than their own image. Real women in other words.
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Post by trubble on Apr 21, 2009 9:14:58 GMT
Is it true that the majority of people choose to partner up with people of their own race?
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Post by trubble on Apr 21, 2009 9:15:22 GMT
Why do Asian women like older men?
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Post by lonewolf on Apr 21, 2009 15:17:32 GMT
Is it true that the majority of people choose to partner up with people of their own race? I think the writer was making reference to an increasingly large number of American males and their preference for Asian or Asian American females rather than white American females. I did notice when I lived in Europe that American males as a general rule would gravitate towards white European females rather than white American females.
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Post by iamjumbo on Apr 21, 2009 15:46:40 GMT
if you are stupid, the bimbo blonde with big tits might be alright for a one night stand. the reality is that, for a relationship, the plain jane who knows who the president is obviously is the ONLY choice
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Post by Big Lin on Apr 21, 2009 17:11:52 GMT
Is it true that the majority of people choose to partner up with people of their own race? It probably is on the whole, Trubble, but it shouldn't make any difference if you love each other. My Mum's a Romani and she married an Ulster gadje; I'm a posh-rat and I married an English gadje; one of our best friends is a couple where a white English girl married a black English bloke. I know Mike has his own thoughts on the Asian question but he's very reluctant to post them in case he gets misunderstood and accused of racism. (As if I'd tolerate being married to a racist but I can understand why he's a bit nervous over what he wants to say!)
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Post by trubble on Apr 21, 2009 17:34:27 GMT
Is it true that the majority of people choose to partner up with people of their own race? It probably is on the whole, Trubble, but it shouldn't make any difference if you love each other. My Mum's a Romani and she married an Ulster gadje; I'm a posh-rat and I married an English gadje; one of our best friends is a couple where a white English girl married a black English bloke. I know Mike has his own thoughts on the Asian question but he's very reluctant to post them in case he gets misunderstood and accused of racism. (As if I'd tolerate being married to a racist but I can understand why he's a bit nervous over what he wants to say!) Fair enough, I didn't raise it with a race issue in mind, more as a point about the title of this article and thread. I think the issue is about culture and expectations, as does the author. Appar-wiki-ently the statistics are: ... Which leads me to think that White Men don't Prefer Asian Women as a general rule, rather that Certain White Men prefer Asian Women and Certain Asian Women prefer White Men. And I think there are some valid reasons for that preference, whatever works for you is fine!, but I don't think that we white women (I'm white) should be worried about the asian gals stealing our guys because they are nicer than us...allegedly. And I think that's what the author is trying to tell us to do. Is this the same Fred Reed? I think it is. I think he is a divorced man in his 60s who is looking for a nice lady to care for him, not a life partner who equals him. Is that an unfair thing to think? It is unfair of him to compare us women on his very limited scale of who he wants to marry/live with and conclude that white women are awful based on that same scale. Why doesn't he just admit he has a thing for a certain type and stop preaching that we should all fit into it? I don't want to live with him and I'm a bit relieved to discover I don't stand a chance.
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Post by lonewolf on Apr 22, 2009 0:19:42 GMT
Which leads me to think that White Men don't Prefer Asian Women as a general rule I see, so if I understand you correctly you assume that because 50 million plus white American males are married to 50 million plus white American females that white American males in general prefer white American females. Did you ever consider the fact that in The United States there are probably less than 3 Million Asian females? And did you ever consider the fact that most white American males rarely ever come into contact with those Asian American females? I don't think that we white women (I'm white) should be worried about the asian gals stealing our guys because they are nicer than us...allegedly. No, you shouldn’t be worried for the obvious reason that there aren’t that many Asian gals in Ireland or the U.S.A. and therefore they pose little threat of stealing your future hubby away from you.
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Post by beth on Apr 22, 2009 0:56:20 GMT
I'm enjoying this serious discussion. I've long thought caucasian men were attracted to asian women because they grew up spending a lot of time watching anime and playing nintendo. Shoot me - I still think that has something to do with it. www.animecubed.com/animegirls/
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Post by lonewolf on Apr 22, 2009 2:39:17 GMT
I've long thought caucasian men were attracted to asian women because they grew up spending a lot of time watching anime and playing nintendo. Shoot me - I still think that has something to do with it. Women tend to believe what is convenient.
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Post by beth on Apr 22, 2009 3:33:39 GMT
I've long thought caucasian men were attracted to asian women because they grew up spending a lot of time watching anime and playing nintendo. Shoot me - I still think that has something to do with it. Women tend to believe what is convenient. Can you say "Occam's razor"?
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Post by lonewolf on Apr 22, 2009 8:45:47 GMT
Can you say "Occam's razor"? Is that supposed to be a witty retort?
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Post by iamjumbo on Apr 22, 2009 11:53:35 GMT
I'm enjoying this serious discussion. I've long thought caucasian men were attracted to asian women because they grew up spending a lot of time watching anime and playing nintendo. Shoot me - I still think that has something to do with it. www.animecubed.com/animegirls/ hardly. i have NEVER, and would never, waste my time playing nintendo, nor any other equally inane bs. i'm not a big fan of anime either. of course, none of that existed when i was growing up. my fascination could have come from the fact that, although he hated the japs because his best buddy was killed next to him at dutch harbor in alaska, my uncle gave me a japanese aunt, and even at 13, i would have done her. when i spent eighteen months in the phillipines in the navy, i got to find out that it really was pretty good. there is just something about asian girls that is a special turnon
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Post by alanseago on Apr 22, 2009 12:18:12 GMT
I must declare an interest here, I am married to a Phillipina. I have spent a lot of time (since 1974) in Southeast Asia, from South Korea to Borneo. To say that men prefer Asian women is only a partial truth, most of us just like Asians, male or female. They are welcoming, friendly, polite, and generally good company. After a few weeks, one is considered part of the family (I am still in communication with my 'uncle' from Bandar Seri Begawan). Do not believe that an Asian woman will be subserviant or obedient. You may take care of the budget and finances but the house is HERS! When my new wife arrived in France she was most upset by my attempts to discuss the decor or the furniture, this was her realm. I have always been independant and self-sufficient, I am now waited upon and pampered Whether I Like It or NOT! A final but important point. It seems that, however old they may be, Asians never lose their sense of fun.
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