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Post by Liberator on Apr 22, 2009 13:41:02 GMT
That's a mistake I find the British and American often make, to confuse politeness and civility with servility. It's the secure classes who can afford civility and that's another reason for prejudice against it. If you're not looking deferential to the toffs then you look like one of the toffs putting on airs and graces. So there's something of a cult of truculence. Women who treat men in a surly way in the name of 'feminism' are usually those who most demand the traditional deference and chivalry from men that they refuse to give. Then they complain that men don't like assertive women. Aggressive is not Assartive, it is quite the opposite.
It doesn't show strength at all, it shows the underlying insecurity of those afraid that any appearance of 'yielding' is admitting their inferiority. The truly confident can be as polite as they like because they know that mothing can undermine them. It's ilke in Old Russia, the Tsarsometimes used to make a point of treating peasants just like nobility where they couldn't possibly be seen hobnobbing with their inferiors. Iit rubbed their noses in it that he was so superior to everybody that they might as well all be peasants.
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Post by trubble on Apr 22, 2009 18:08:59 GMT
Which leads me to think that White Men don't Prefer Asian Women as a general rule I see, so if I understand you correctly you assume that because 50 million plus white American males are married to 50 million plus white American females that white American males in general prefer white American females. Did you ever consider the fact that in The United States there are probably less than 3 Million Asian females? And did you ever consider the fact that most white American males rarely ever come into contact with those Asian American females? I don't think that we white women (I'm white) should be worried about the asian gals stealing our guys because they are nicer than us...allegedly. No, you shouldn’t be worried for the obvious reason that there aren’t that many Asian gals in Ireland or the U.S.A. and therefore they pose little threat of stealing your future hubby away from you. I assume nothing, I read the stats. The author assumes white men prefer asian women to white women. The proof is not in the pudding, that's all. The author spends his time with those who agree with him so how is he to know that it's differnt strokes for different folks? He thinks american women spend their time saying 'that guy's a piece of---' but has he ever considered that they might only be saying it when he's lurking nearby?
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Post by beth on Apr 22, 2009 19:01:40 GMT
Can you say "Occam's razor"? Is that supposed to be a witty retort? Not really, lone, just sayin' - the simplest conclusion usually does have merit. There may be other factors, but I do think growing up with these links to asian fantasy women must leave a few traces.
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Post by beth on Apr 22, 2009 19:14:12 GMT
I'm enjoying this serious discussion. I've long thought caucasian men were attracted to asian women because they grew up spending a lot of time watching anime and playing nintendo. Shoot me - I still think that has something to do with it. www.animecubed.com/animegirls/ hardly. i have NEVER, and would never, waste my time playing nintendo, nor any other equally inane bs. i'm not a big fan of anime either. of course, none of that existed when i was growing up. my fascination could have come from the fact that, although he hated the japs because his best buddy was killed next to him at dutch harbor in alaska, my uncle gave me a japanese aunt, and even at 13, i would have done her. when i spent eighteen months in the phillipines in the navy, i got to find out that it really was pretty good. there is just something about asian girls that is a special turnon Well then, Jim, you can't really make a judgement call here because you didn't grow up with those bells and whistles. In fact, your step-aunt might have served as your own personal fantasy and translated into adult interest in asian women. At any rate, I don't mean to suggest that's true for everyone, but for a good many, I think.
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Post by beth on Apr 22, 2009 19:23:54 GMT
That's a mistake I find the British and American often make, to confuse politeness and civility with servility. It's the secure classes who can afford civility and that's another reason for prejudice against it. If you're not looking deferential to the toffs then you look like one of the toffs putting on airs and graces. So there's something of a cult of truculence. Women who treat men in a surly way in the name of 'feminism' are usually those who most demand the traditional deference and chivalry from men that they refuse to give. Then they complain that men don't like assertive women. Aggressive is not Assartive, it is quite the opposite. It doesn't show strength at all, it shows the underlying insecurity of those afraid that any appearance of 'yielding' is admitting their inferiority. The truly confident can be as polite as they like because they know that mothing can undermine them. It's ilke in Old Russia, the Tsarsometimes used to make a point of treating peasants just like nobility where they couldn't possibly be seen hobnobbing with their inferiors. Iit rubbed their noses in it that he was so superior to everybody that they might as well all be peasants. I agree with you on this one. Aggressive is nothing to do with assertive. Quite often, it translates to passive aggression. One of my college professors once gave us a good definition. ""Passive aggressive individuals will defer to another quickly and easily, but in the end, they will have their pound of flesh"
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Post by alanseago on Apr 22, 2009 19:29:52 GMT
If person 'A' is attracted to person 'B' but person 'B' leaves with person 'C', that has nothing to do with race, status, respect or environment. It means that person 'B' is more attracted to person 'C' than to person 'A'. That is life. Get used to it!
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Post by Big Lin on Apr 22, 2009 21:22:26 GMT
Thanks for that, Alan. I'm glad to hear a SENSIBLE comment!
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Post by jean on Apr 23, 2009 8:36:08 GMT
Women tend to believe what is convenient. And men don't?
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Post by Big Lin on Apr 23, 2009 12:45:57 GMT
Jean, you're dead right on that one!
As for that quote at the end, what is 'dignified' about being a doormat?
You keep assuming that the Andrea Dworkin type of feminist is representative.
That's like regarding Stalin as typical of socialists, Stavisky of capitalists, or Pol Pot of Cambodians.
Like the saying goes, 'all generalisations are false including this one.'
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Post by lonewolf on Apr 24, 2009 7:20:07 GMT
Only the effeminate ones do.
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Post by iamjumbo on Apr 25, 2009 14:10:10 GMT
I must declare an interest here, I am married to a Phillipina. I have spent a lot of time (since 1974) in Southeast Asia, from South Korea to Borneo. To say that men prefer Asian women is only a partial truth, most of us just like Asians, male or female. They are welcoming, friendly, polite, and generally good company. After a few weeks, one is considered part of the family (I am still in communication with my 'uncle' from Bandar Seri Begawan). Do not believe that an Asian woman will be subserviant or obedient. You may take care of the budget and finances but the house is HERS! When my new wife arrived in France she was most upset by my attempts to discuss the decor or the furniture, this was her realm. I have always been independant and self-sufficient, I am now waited upon and pampered Whether I Like It or NOT! A final but important point. It seems that, however old they may be, Asians never lose their sense of fun. i agree with you there. when i was in the phillipines, i associated with filipinos, rather than americans, if for no other reason than pauncit is a million times better than anything the navy ever had in the dining hall
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Post by iamjumbo on Apr 25, 2009 14:14:55 GMT
hardly. i have NEVER, and would never, waste my time playing nintendo, nor any other equally inane bs. i'm not a big fan of anime either. of course, none of that existed when i was growing up. my fascination could have come from the fact that, although he hated the japs because his best buddy was killed next to him at dutch harbor in alaska, my uncle gave me a japanese aunt, and even at 13, i would have done her. when i spent eighteen months in the phillipines in the navy, i got to find out that it really was pretty good. there is just something about asian girls that is a special turnon Well then, Jim, you can't really make a judgement call here because you didn't grow up with those bells and whistles. In fact, your step-aunt might have served as your own personal fantasy and translated into adult interest in asian women. At any rate, I don't mean to suggest that's true for everyone, but for a good many, I think. that's pretty much what i was acknowledging. i am truly thankful that nintendo and other garbage such as video games was not around then. they have no social validity whatsoever, and lead only to dumbing down the populace, as we clearly see now
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Post by Liberator on Jun 24, 2009 3:32:28 GMT
It's something to do with women feeling themselves valuable people without question and women with a big chip on their shoulder imagining that they have to fight superior men for dominance. Feminism reduces everything to 'dominance', their obsession. Personally I find African women women the most attractive, not least because they all behave as 'equals' - that is, queens with the right to do as they damned well choose - and are not full of childish envy for imagined western male 'advantages' that most western men are as delighted to relinquish as feminists to gain them and then whine about the demands put upon them equal to men. Besides, Africans are just plain nicer to look at than pasty-faced scrawny Europeans. Don't we all spend the Summer trying to get something of their colour?
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Post by sinistral on Jun 24, 2009 8:44:39 GMT
Besides, Africans are just plain nicer to look at than pasty-faced scrawny Europeans. Don't we all spend the Summer trying to get something of their colour? Speaking as your average "pasty-faced scrawny European".... No actually we don't.
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Post by Big Lin on Jun 24, 2009 21:12:01 GMT
Well said, Sinistral.
Actually even the TITLE of this thread is crazy.
Who says that ALL - or even MOST - white men prefer Asian women?
Men's taste in women is as individual as women's taste in men.
Some like them big, some small; some tall, some short; some blonde, brunette, some redhead; some clever, some stupid; some independent, some dependent.
The myth that Asian women are subservient is just a cultural thing and in any case it's a lot less true than it used to be, thank goodness.
I'd say we were discussing a 'non-issue' here to be honest.
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Post by Liberator on Jun 24, 2009 22:36:40 GMT
That's a very good point. It might be titled better Why American men don't like a certain kind of mouthy aggressive American woman and wonder why some American women at least like a certain kind of mouthy aggressive American man (usually with a gun, truck and dog fetish). I've given that I find a lot of African and Asian possess a certain elegant self-assurance but not all, and there are other things to find attractive. If you are starting from the assumption that they are more attractive, then that might be why but without that assumption, it is where a lot of their attraction lies, while for others it lies elsewhere.
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Post by sinistral on Jun 24, 2009 22:54:44 GMT
The myth that Asian women are subservient is just a cultural thing and in any case it's a lot less true than it used to be, thank goodness. Lin.....I think it's hope that the myth may be true that attracts a certain kind of white European. There must be many who dislike the thought of a German Frau,Italian mama or chic French madame giving as good as they get in a relationship. Why not cling to the dream of a compliant little Asian lady who will do as she's told. The term "mail order brides" comes to mind here. In fact this sort of man probably harbours the myth about females of other races too,though I suspect these days they often get more than they bargained for. Still the dream must be better than the "pasty-faced" reality!
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Post by mikemarshall on Jun 25, 2009 0:21:45 GMT
Why on earth any man would be attracted to a woman who has no independence of mind or will of her own is a mystery to me.
What fun is THAT?
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Post by Liberator on Jun 25, 2009 0:41:32 GMT
Remember that the article's original writer was saying that Oriental women are not subservient, as imagined, but just without the chip on their shoulder that he finds with American women in his milieu. I don't think he would find it in Europe either, because I don't think we have anything like the skewed near-savage selfishness that has developed in some parts of the USA and sadly, instead of 'challenging' with a more humane alternative, women there have joined in that they can be just as aggressively selfish as men. But to what end? Aggression is not Assertion; it is resentment against believing oneself inferior.
European women are mostly Assertive, and so are most. They respect themselves whether they do the same as men or not, though they might resent only men's doings getting recognition as valuable. Some might prefer men to back off and respect and do what women have more equally. The kind of American women he is talking about are solidly bought into the American materialist dream. If he left the top New York restaurants and looked at their Negro population, or in the country, he would probably find just as many women who do not feel they must buy in (or sell out) to the greed is God mentality that [some] men have set as all that matters.
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Post by iamjumbo on Jun 27, 2009 14:46:28 GMT
That's a very good point. It might be titled better Why American men don't like a certain kind of mouthy aggressive American woman and wonder why some American women at least like a certain kind of mouthy aggressive American man (usually with a gun, truck and dog fetish). I've given that I find a lot of African and Asian possess a certain elegant self-assurance but not all, and there are other things to find attractive. If you are starting from the assumption that they are more attractive, then that might be why but without that assumption, it is where a lot of their attraction lies, while for others it lies elsewhere. nope. women are like art. there is no such thing as a universally GREAT piece of artwork. there are fools who think picasso was a talented artist, when the reality is that he never did anything that any fifth grader couldn't do with a paintball gun. such it is with women. while the majority of men are too stupid to be picky about whom or what they screw, they want to have qualifications for whom they enter into a relationship with. they are too ignorant to comprehend the simple reality that they have no right screwing anyone that they would not want to spend the rest of their lives with. the result is that each man is an individual who picks and chooses what he is satisfied with. it is nothing more than the " beauty is in the eye of the beholder" trip
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