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Post by pumpkinette on Sept 1, 2009 16:50:58 GMT
Unfortunately, this won't be getting published as I'd hoped. The project won't be happening (as far as I know) and, to be honest, I won't ever send anything to this writer ever again as he viciously attacked my MVS status, etc. when I confronted him on how he didn't keep his word to get back to me on the status of this, etc. It's a long, upsetting story. HOWEVER, I won't give up on this piece and may self-publish it some day along with some other stuff. I don't care about writing like I did in my early 20's so may not HAVE enough stuff to TRY to get published, but...I'll figure out a way eventually! I see self-publishing as a last resort, to be honest, and would only go that way after trying everything else.
Please give me honest comments if you'd like after reading this. I need to know the good, bad, etc. Thanks!
I changed a few things for privacy reasons:
Wonderland and I By Laura ******
I first learned about the Wonderland murder case at least a few years ago on the E! True Hollywood Story on cable TV. I was sickened by the murders and felt strongly (and always will) that they could have been prevented. The fact that so few seemed to care for full justice for these victims made me very upset and angry and still does. A big reason for this is because I’m a MVS, which stands for “murder victim survivor”. MVS are the surviving family and friends of murder victims. My Dad and Grandma were murdered by my Mother in 1990. This, obviously, changed my life hugely and the years since then have been very full. I’ve done recovery work because of the tragedy since early 1991 and continue to do so. I’ve been active in MVS support, supporting new and/or better legislation against murderers and other criminals since 1990. In 2002, I got involved in MVS support on the Internet. This is a part of my life every day and while it produces mixed feelings (of course), I get a lot of joy out of seeing other MVS recover from their tragedies as best as they can. I also know that we MVS help each other heal. There’s still a lot of work to be done, though, as far as people being educated about what MVS go through. Another reason I’m so interested in the Wonderland case is because there’s MANY things we can learn from it. As far as the murder cases go that I’ve read about, etc., the Wonderland case is one of the best “cautionary tales” among them.
After watching the E! True Hollywood Story, I was very excited to read (I forget where now) that a movie about the case was going to come out. I rented the movie “Wonderland” as soon as it came out and bought a copy as soon as I could. The movie is one of my favorites of all time. Before I saw it, I was interested in the case, but after the movie, my interest in the case grew hugely. That’s because there’s so many components in this case that I strongly identify with: What are the results of revenge, when people give into their most evil impulses? Why was there so much corruption within law enforcement/the courts, etc. in this case? As a recovering alcoholic, I could identify to a great degree with the drug/alcohol addiction depicted. It was also an exposure to how addiction can lead people to become criminals for most and/or all of their lives. There was also some heroism involved in the case. Thank God for the few people involved who cared more about justice for the victims than their own safety and comfort. There was also my interest in John Holmes and porn movie actors/actresses in general that had started with an interest in Linda Lovelace when I was in high school. I bought her books back then and my interest in other porn stars went from there. Another reason for my interest in the case and the movie was the history of Dawn Schiller. She came out of addiction and was/is an inspiration. I greatly admire anyone that comes out of addiction and the self-centeredness of it and goes on to help others get and stay sober. I also highly admire her work in helping prevent domestic violence and helping the victims of it.
The first component that greatly interested me was revenge. I think this case greatly proves how evil revenge is. The Wonderland Gang were career criminals, but they didn’t deserve to be murdered. This view isn’t popular with some these days. Some prefer the easy way out of thinking: these people were career criminals so because of that they DESERVED to be murdered. For some reason, for all the reading I’ve done on this case, I’ve yet to hear of any of these people telling this to the faces of the family/friends of these victims. Would I have wanted to be friends with/associate with the Gang? No, not even in the years that I was a practicing alcoholic. The revenge taken on these victims was NO better than what the Gang did to Eddie Nash. I don’t understand how revenge this evil is justified. Weren’t the people taking revenge criminals also? Were they any better than the Gang? What were the results? One of them was Susan Lanius seeing her husband murdered. She didn’t deserve that and I can only imagine what she’s had to live with since then. Revenge was also a component in my familys’ case and I’ll always hate that. My mother reveled in the bitterness and hurt from the verbal/emotional abuse she suffered from HER mother. Instead of getting mental/spiritual help, she took the easy way out and destroyed herself, her mother and her husband. She took physical revenge on her mother. Because of evil revenge, the lives of Barbara Richardson, Ron Lanius, Billy Deverrell and Joy Miller were unfairly cut short. It’s within possibility that they might have gotten off drugs and turned their lives around. Was this highly likely based on their lives at the time of their deaths? No, but this case also proves that at least some people recover from addiction and turn their lives around and that people should always be open-minded to this possibility. Dawn Schiller is one person who proves this true. Did this revenge really solve anything? Why is it that so many in society pride themselves on revenge? The fact is that by taking revenge this evil and violent is that these actions were NO better than the actions of the Wonderland Gang were. Taking revenge produces a possibly endless cycle of violence.
Why should people lover themselves to the level of the people they’re taking the revenge on? I’m sick and tired of hearing from some in society on how revenge is “strong”. It sure has never been to me, based on what happened in my family. I’m convinced my mother was weak and that by physically taking out her revenge on her mother she took the easy way out. She could have gotten mental/spiritual help HERSELF to resolve the results of the abuse inflicted on her. She could have shown her mother that she couldn’t be broken and that she would have the best life possible for herself instead of believing her mother’s lies.
The second component was corruption within law enforcement/the courts, etc., with this case. There’s never been enough justice done for these victims. I use an avatar (one of the posters for the movie) on message boards I’m on to bring attention to this case. I know that cases like this one need to be exposed to wake people up to how too MANY murder cases don’t get enough justice done due to corruption within law enforcement, etc. Exposing the corruption in a case like this is the first step towards much needed activism to do all we can to STOP this kind of corruption. Exposure is the first step. I’m very thankful that there were a few in law enforcement/the courts that acted decently and truly cared for justice for these victims. Ron Coen, Tom Lange and Robert Souza did all they could to get justice in this case. It’s thanks to them that the portion of justice that was done in this case happened. Personally, I find it an outrage that John Holmes was acquitted.
The third component is addiction. I can identify to a degree with the Wonderland Gang as far as their drug/alcohol addiction goes. To stay addicted is to take the easy way out in life. The fact is that the highs from drugs and alcohol feel good, which too many in society deny. I used alcohol many years for at least a few reasons: to disinhibit (based on sexual problems as a result of verbal sexual abuse) and to escape from the pain of the murders in my family. The results of this affect my physical health to this day. I can understand wanting the escape that’s in addiction. It lets you live in a fantasy world and escape reality. It greatly affects your judgment for the worse, which is very evident in this case with most of the people involved. I find it very upsetting to see some people excuse the actions of John Holmes while on drugs, but the actions of the Wonderland Gang while on drugs are condemned greatly. The fact is that the things Holmes did were no better than what the Gang did. I’m very sick of this mentality and it’s still going strong. The OJ Simpson case comes to mind. The fact that people who are celebrities have their wrong acts excused, rationalized, etc. is disgusting and also sick denial. I really think these murders could have been prevented if at least some of the people involved had gotten off drugs and cleaned up their lives. However, I know also how hard it is to GET sober. I have to battle every day in my mind the recriminations about my past. There’s also having to overcome the doubts of people: ie., people hooked on drugs/alcohol really CAN’T change; some people are no good and never will be, etc. I’ll feel the lure of addiction the rest of my life. I’m not one of the alcoholics (and I’ve met very few) that never have the desire to drink again. I can understand giving into addictions for years at a time. I feel very sorry that the Gang and Holmes stayed in the addiction for so long. Like all addicts, they hurt themselves and many people in their lives. This case teaches how evil and destructive drug addiction is. I think of all the murder cases I know about this one illustrates the most for anyone who’s tempted to abuse drugs to NOT do so. Every day I honestly wish I’d NEVER touched alcohol.
The fourth component is the heroism in this case. I’ve noted already the heroism of Coen, Lange, Souza and Schiller. I think that if David Lind did one decent thing in his life it was that he went to the police. I wish if I knew 100% for sure that his motives weren’t totally self-centered. However, based on his criminal history, this isn’t likely. Despite that, though, he did the right thing. If this was the only good act in his life, it doesn’t take away its value. It was a wonderful act on ITS OWN. I say thank God for him, because was anyone else coming forward? This is also something that I find infuriating about this case. When my mother murdered my dad and grandma, I was living with mom and dad. Mom knew where I lived, worked, etc. I felt that despite this that she should be held accountable and that I’d take the consequences of talking about the events before the murders, etc. No one in my family talked about bail as ANY kind of possibility. We knew that she was eligible for bail (why this is done routinely in murder cases I’ll never understand and it infuriates me and many other MVS) and none of us would even consider it. I knew that what she did was so evil and serious that she had to be punished and that any possible consequences on me for speaking out had to take a back seat. I find it so sad and infuriating that Lind and Schiller were the ONLY people to go to the police. Others put their own safety and comfort over doing the right thing in this case. Of course, I’ve never been involved in any type of situation like the events leading up to the murders in this case, so I’m coming from the perspective of my familys’ case. At the same time, I really have no use for the mentality of people protecting themselves instead of turning in a murderer, etc. I commend Dawn Schiller for turning John Holmes in. She did the right thing and this was an act as great as David Lind’s. I really wonder what the family/friends of the Wonderland Gang thought of this, about how so few went to the police. They deserved full justice in this case as ALL the surviving family/friends of murder victims do. I honestly don’t understand putting your own safety and comfort over doing the right thing when it comes to murder. I think the reasons for this are obvious, based on my family tragedy and the tragedies of other MVS I’ve met in person and on the Internet.
As far as John Holmes goes, I’ll give credit where it’s due. He was great at his job. His life fascinates me as much as the lives of the others involved in this case do. I’ve read a LOT of rationalizing, etc., online, though, about the evil actions of Holmes in this case, his treatment of others before and after the murders, etc. and they prove that rationalization and denial are alive and well. The Wonderland Gang were trash, BUT John Holmes was complicated, not really all that bad, etc. Some double standards aren’t completely about sex and this thinking about Holmes and the Gang proves that. Holmes was as accountable for his actions as everyone else involved in the case were. No excuses should be made for him. Based on the recovering addicts I’ve met, I’ve never met any that were as involved in evil as Holmes was. I think this fact speaks for itself. He got fully involved with the Gang and joined right in with their criminal acts and addiction and then had the nerve to say “they were dirt” (in the documentary “Wadd”) after the murders. The hypocrisy of this is just staggering. It’s also infuriating. I think it’s highly likely (to say the least) that Holmes had no conscience and I base that on more than just his involvement in the murders. I also think that he likely had the motive of revenge against the Gang when he was present at the murders.
There was some good to come out of this case, though: holding Eddie Nash accountable was one of them. It just took way too long. I wonder how the family/friends of the victims felt about this. I also wonder if they go online and read the attacks on their loved ones and/or friends. I’ve wondered that often as I know if I were them (they’re fellow MVS) and I read some of this stuff I’d be furious and hurt. It would also open old wounds again. Another great thing is that Coen, Lange and Souza did all they could to get as much justice possible for these victims. Lind did a wonderful thing by going to the police. Dawn Schiller turned Holmes into the police, got off drugs and is a wonderful example to others as she proves you can turn your life around greatly, stay sober and help others.
This case will always touch me in many ways. I’m very glad that it got more exposure with the movie, this book and others, etc. I hope that the family/friends of the victims are doing well. I wish them the best as I know first hand how much work it is to recover from having people you love murdered. I wish the same for Susan Launius, who went through something that NO ONE should EVER go through. I’m also thankful that that while not enough justice was done in this case on earth that God will hold everyone involved in the evil accountable for this tragedy in the afterlife. I get a lot of comfort out of that with this case and all murder cases, including my familys’, obviously. I also hope that with the increased exposure this case has gotten with the movie, this book, etc., that people will hopefully open and unharden their hearts some and realize that while the Wonderlang Gang did lead horrible lives that they WERE people who didn’t deserve to be murdered. They also had and likely still have family members and/or friends that loved them and probably still do. These are just a few of the lessons that we can learn from these tragic murders. These murders should never be forgotten and should also be spoken about as much as possible in order to educate people and, hopefully, open and unharden their hearts.
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