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The can opener was invented 48 years after the can.
You are about 1 centimeter taller in the morning than in the evening.
Your statistical chance of being murdered is one in twenty thousand.
(Those aren't very good odds, are they.)
The inventor of Vaseline ate a spoonful of the stuff every morning!Women who went to college are more likely than high school
dropouts to enjoy both the giving and receiving of oral sex.
A Native American tribe in South Dakota collects bottle caps
left by campers, using them as currency. Several banks in the
area now recognize the caps as legal tender.
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MEMBER INTERVIEW
___________________________________________Our Member of The MonthHunnyThanks guys! ___________________________________________Tell us how you discovered the internet, and a brief history of where you've been online. I needed a question answered and had been told "Google is your friend", so i just typed in the question and hit
search - and this led me to a Q&A forum called Yahoo Answers. We told jokes there, great fun. Then I joined
a game site and worked hard to become known (that was the object of the game). I did my first magazine
there, and had terrible first experiences with "moderators" (didn't know what they were yet) (and these were
NOT good examples!). So the site went downhill from bad management and I tried to do my own board, but
eventually gave up on the getting members thing and came here. Now I belong to four Proboards forums.
What are your three favorite things in life?My cat. Music. Humor.
Tell us some favorite advice or lesson you got along the way?(How to do life:) Figure out what you have a passion for doing and then make life pay you for it.
Do you play a musical instrument, or have an artistic talent?I wrote 400 songs in my twenties. I play guitar and sing, also harmonica, drums,
and trumpet. And I like to think I can write essays and such too, though some
might tell me I just babble long answers. I really don't know!
Hobbies?Well, I guess the computer is my hobby. Doing a magazine.
Although in the past I invested a lot in drawing comic strips, which are
really just sketch comedy, story-boarded. And I suppose writing music
counts too, though I wanted that to be more like a career.
Did you get into trouble as a kid? Any stories you can tell?Oh God yes. I was naughty creatively. I dreamed up a lot of stunts.
I carved what the principal called, at a special assembly held about it,
a "Michelangelo" on the bathroom wall. I was bored.
I held the spitball throwing record, because I thought what the boys were doing was f.unny
(making a spitball mosaic up on the ceiling) but everything to me was about doing a creative
stunt, so I needed to do something special, so I made one the size of a golf ball. It took almost
the entire length of an algebra class to produce and then hurl up onto the ceiling, which of
course produced a decided "Whump!" sound, alarming the teacher, who would always spin
around, but never manage to figure out who was doing what!
Then we figured out that if we cupped our hands around our mouths we could make realistic
wind sound, and this would cause that teacher to ask one of the students to
close the windows...but of course the wind sound didn't stop, and this confused her!
We did other things too, like prank phone calls, and one time we used a label maker to
print swears to stick on the back of people's coats when our parents took us out.
When I say "we", I mean my sister and I. We were close, with me being that bit older,
so I got to ring-lead. Even just thinking things up to do, we would laugh hysterically.
Now our folks would take us with them to the departments store on Saturdays,
and we'd be allowed to look around on our own and meet up with them later.
So this left a good chunk of time to fill, in a pretty cool place full of stuff...
Weekly, my sister would ask me "what can we do this time?" And I'd have to
think of something. One week, we stole a huge box of chewing gum and
stuck the half-chewed pieces in all the shoes, in the shoe department!
Bear in mind, we HAD TO do these things, as the thought of them was hysterical.
Then I saw it. This huge, life size, air-filled punching bag thing they called "Willy". Willy would
go right over if you hit him, but he would always get back up. (like a 5 foot, air filled "weebles")
My sister as usual asked me the whys of how it worked, and I had a duty to just know the answer.
So as we stood there contemplating the workings of Willy, the plan was hatched. Next week we'd bring
a large safety pin and give Willy a few jabs to let the air out of him. After all, the store had put up
a sign DARING us that we could not get Willy to stay down. I'd make him stay down!
We laughed and laughed and waited all week and asked mum for a safety pin. And when the time finally
came and we stabbed him and guffawed and ran away, we came back and dang it, Willy was still standing!!
Naturally, we jabbed him three or four more times. "That'll do it", we sputtered and ran off.
But when we went back 5 minutes later, would you believe it, still up!
(oh and trust me, that they had named this "willy" and "willy was still up" had not escaped us.)
With anger just about now, we jabbed Willy relentlessly to punish him for failing to entertain us properly.
"Stupid punching..thing!", we muttered, and walked off dejected at our week's failure.
Well, 20 minutes later when it was time to meet our folks and go home, we happened to walk by that aisle
again, and lo and behold Willy was down! Saggy, head on the floor, like an old man after the Viagra ran out!
Oh god how we laughed!
(I'm still enjoying it now.)
Erm, I mean, naughty us, shame shame...yea
Do you like to cook?I used to have quite a passion for it, but now no - I haven't the time or energy to bother.
Your favorite material possession(s)?my computer and my TV
What type of entertainment do you like best?Comedy. Chic flicks. I'm currently watching the Charmed series, I guess I have a fondness for sci-fi too.
Do you have any funny or strange tales to tell, things that happened along the way?Well...when we were all in our 20's, and partying was still heroic adventure, then I had some tales
I would tell that would cause a lot of laughter, but now those stories...well, I guess I grew up
so they're not as hilarious anymore. When Bryce fell in the lake... The longest fart
in history... Some sexual antics come to mind... Hitchhiking produced a few
tales... And partying did!...Yea, mostly the strange and interesting things
I've seen happened because people were buzzed, or young!
If there is one thing you are absolutely passionate about, what is it?It used to be music.
Then it was learning.
Then it was that I wanted to start a magazine and cause change.
Now...nothing really excites me anymore.
I do passionately hate the way the world is, if that counts as passion.
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Gibby's CornerOur Gibby is a retail manager who wants to one day run
her own business. Born in France, she has two boys, loves
to run, loves pizza, has one sister ("My sister inspires me,
she beat cancer 3 years ago, she is my hero."), her favorite
word is bootielicious, her favorite song is Elvis's 'Burnin' Love',
and she prefers the city to live ("I would be too bored living in
the country , I need to be close to shops, clothes shops in
particular and I need the night life a city provides."). Gibby
runs her own board: Gibby's Place. Check it out, it's a lot of fun!
Monsters University - a review
This film is out now and is a prequel to the 2001 classic film Monsters Inc.. If you haven't seen Monsters Inc
it doesn't matter , this being a prequel you don't need to. I would highly recommend this film. Ok so it is
technically a children's flick but if you don't have children yourself to take I suggest borrowing the neighbour's
ones , it is well worth it. The animation is second to none on this and the story is another classic one. The
two main characters are Mike and Sully , two monsters who go to the University to learn how to be "scarers"
…..for those who haven't seen the first film the monsters have to scare children thus producing screams which
are bottled up and used to generate power in the monster world. They access the children's world by means
of a bedroom door which opens into the other world. If you have been to university you will enjoy the in jokes
about Frat parties , fresher weeks and Fraternity houses. The nerds are loveable , the jocks are typical jocks
and there is the guy who wants to fit in with whoever he thinks is popular at the time. Ultimately it is
a story that resonates with the message that what ever you look like provided you believe in your own
strengths and be a team player when necessary you will succeed in life. There are plenty of jokes along
the way and you end up willing both Mike and Sully to succeed . You cheer for them when they do well and
you feel down when they don't.It's quite a long film considering it is for children at 1 hour 50 minutes and
surprisingly I didn't fidget or get the feeling i was going to fall asleep once which usually happens if i see a long film.
I'd give this 10/10