Post by DAS (formerly BushAdmirer) on Nov 20, 2014 1:56:23 GMT
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party and the fact Republicans won the Senate are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota . The producer was cold,exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn't give any milk."
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves."A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,"an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though." When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.
In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"
In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close to President Obama said, "We're going to have some Paul McCartney and Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out," he said.
Well, I'm not white but I'm a liberal and I'm married to a white man and I'd have to say that it's - like most generalisations - complete nonsense.
There are good and bad people in every ethnic group, of both genders and every political and religious persuasion.
He's either just being controversial for the sake of it or he's bonkers!
I admire you're awareness of history Lin. The term "liberal" has been hopelessly highjacked by the pro-Entitlement people, Socialists, Communists, Nihilists, etc.. They've sugar coated themselves with the word liberal or progressive and got away with it.
You'll be simply lost in translation by trying to restore the originally historical meaning to the word liberal and describing yourself as one.
Standing up for truth is more important than fitting in with the political establishment.
And actually the US 'conservatives' seem to consider anyone to the left of Genghis Khan a liberal or even a communist.
I don't think fighting for the truth is ever a bad idea
And the truth is that it's largely been conservatives who have tried to demonise the word liberal.
Well, words matter to me as a writer.
And truth outweighs any amount of 'fitting in.'
Lin, I'm sure some conservatives would love to call leftist neo fascists, who use the word liberal like a wolf wearing sheep's clothing, what they are. Obviously no leftist neo fascist party would get financing and win an election if they used that designation on the ballot so they call themselves liberals and have successfully highjacked that word. I understand your wish to use the historical definition of liberal, but you'll be getting into arguments over semantics all the time and not getting your good points across.
Latin would probably be the Western world's number one language, if words weren't corrupted and misused as they are.