|
Post by Big Lin on Jan 14, 2011 15:57:45 GMT
If the parents are unhappy together it's very common for that to rub off on the kids and make them suffer.
Even if it's only on the emotional level it's bad.
Sometimes it even spills over into violence against the kids as well as the partners and of course it's better to split up than do that.
I've come close to divorce but there's no way I'd let my frustrations be taken out on my kids.
If you do divorce it's essential to try and protect the children.
I don't agree with partners using the kids as bargaining chips for alimony and custody and access.
Their interests should be put first.
|
|
|
Post by Big Lin on Jan 14, 2011 16:06:13 GMT
More and more parents seem to be going into "split custody" arrangements on separation, whereby the children live with their dad at (say) weekends. The CSA is now recognising that when the father has that kind of caring responsibility he should have his maintenance liability reduced. If there is more than one child they can each claim child benefit for at least one of them; this entitles a low-income dad to claim housing benefit for a two bedroom flat so the kids can have their space when they stay. I think joint custody should be the norm. Only in exceptional circumstances should either parent be given sole custody. I also think that access arrangements need to be made far less of a minefield than they are. I speak from experience on this issue. My sister is now (mercifully) settled down and married but her first child was by her then boyfriend and when they split up there were lots of unnecessary problems about him getting access which (to be honest) were just down to my sis being nasty to her ex.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2011 16:14:35 GMT
No, I did. What on earth is going on? Did someone press the wrong button or something by mistake? Awful thought - perhaps it was me. Really, if Lin did but know it, I'm not safe to be let loose. ;D I think you hit modify rather than quote - no biggie I've deleted a thread by mistake myself! Yes, that is what happened, and to be honest I had no idea I could do it so easily. I'mvery sorry, I seem to have wiped out most of your post.
|
|
|
Post by Big Lin on Jan 14, 2011 16:30:19 GMT
;D I think you hit modify rather than quote - no biggie I've deleted a thread by mistake myself! Yes, that is what happened, and to be honest I had no idea I could do it so easily. I'mvery sorry, I seem to have wiped out most of your post. We've all done that sometimes. As long as you still stay friends it's OK!
|
|