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Post by DAS (formerly BushAdmirer) on Jul 30, 2010 15:51:10 GMT
This from Andy Rooney of CBS. Andy has a way with words. This should bring a smile:
“As I grow in age, I value women over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night & ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She goes and does something, she wants to do, & it's usually more interesting.
Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest.. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’ Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!”
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Post by riotgrrl on Jul 30, 2010 16:01:01 GMT
Love it. ;D
(But I'm not over 50 yet . . looking forward to it now.)
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Post by chefmate on Jul 31, 2010 1:04:40 GMT
Over fifty and loving it!!!
I am so much freer than I was thirty years ago........basically, I don't give a damn what people think
When I realize the maturity and wisdom I have gained as I have grown older, it is well worth the tradeoff of losing youth
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Post by lonewolf on Jul 31, 2010 8:25:55 GMT
I like women over 50 because they don't yell, they don't tell, and they don't swell.
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Post by mikemarshall on Jul 31, 2010 12:46:22 GMT
What about men over 50?
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Post by mouse on Jul 31, 2010 14:52:21 GMT
what about them mike ... ;D have larger disposable incomes are more easily flattered snore more inclined to have even less taste in clothes want their cake and eat it egos are kmore easily pricked would have ruled the world if only they has had time experts on every game they no longer play shine with pride at ""my son my daughter"" the son/daughter who was always yours when they cried in the night..failed an exam or a driving test but we wouldnt be with out them |
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Post by DAS (formerly BushAdmirer) on Aug 3, 2010 0:30:31 GMT
I like women who are 24 to 26. They've got smooth skin, shapely bodies, and they're sexually responsive.
Unfortunately, they don't like me. I'm old enough now that they laugh first before turning me down. Rats!
My wife says, "Go ahead, you can't handle them."
I answer, "True enough. But I will try, try, try, and try again. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."
Unfortunately, I don't have any of the requisites needed to attract these girls. I don't own a 30 meter sailing yacht. I don't own a condominium in Paris or Rome. I don't even have a charge card for Galleries Lafayette. I guess I'm just out of luck.
Oh well, back to the real world. I do have a lovely wife and family. Life is good.
But like almost every man, those 24 year old hard body female aerobic instructors are in my dreams. That's the way of the world.
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Post by sadie1263 on Aug 3, 2010 1:14:47 GMT
I went and donated blood this weekend......and while I am a few years away from 50 I'm getting close.....she mentioned her close friend is having a horrible time with being 40.
I told her the following.
First of all.....I'll take all the years I can get......the alternative is death. The older I get.....the more crap I can get away with and just claim I'm eccentric. I'm looking forward to being a nuisance to my children (I owe them....lol) While I wish I had the body I had in my 20's......I acknowledge I would probably just abuse it.
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Post by sadie1263 on Aug 3, 2010 1:17:55 GMT
Ahhh.....BushA........do you really want a woman to want you for that......or do you want her to want you truly just for you?
My hubby is closing on 60........and I would still do him on the dining room table in a moment and he doesn't have any of those things.......and we've been married over 22 years now!
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Post by Big Lin on Aug 3, 2010 14:43:47 GMT
Well, my hubby is 52 to my 32 but I still love him to bits and think he's gorgeous!
OK, he HAS lost that beautiful head of hair he used to have but so what?
Life is precious and let's hold on to it as long as we can!
It's better to get old than to die young, right?
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Post by Liberator on Aug 5, 2010 2:15:05 GMT
There are plenty of women well under 50 who behave like adult women and not little girls. They just don't get an airing because they do not provide spectacle. Likewise men who aren't afraid to be called boring and nerd and henpecked and misgoynist because they have matured enough to actually value the cosiness of building a life and home together with someone they love and loves them above being seen to be out with the lads waving their wallet around.
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Post by mouse on Aug 5, 2010 8:48:21 GMT
There are plenty of women well under 50 who behave like adult women and not little girls. They just don't get an airing because they do not provide spectacle. Likewise men who aren't afraid to be called boring and nerd and henpecked and misgoynist because they have matured enough to actually value the cosiness of building a life and home together with someone they love and loves them above being seen to be out with the lads waving their wallet around. have a k for that.... and heres to the majority who love and are loved for them selves and not for a fat wallet or enhanced boobs...heres to ever wrinkle and every line in the men and women who didnt sell them selves on the alter of youth.....money...sleb....fashion....froth |
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Post by beth on Aug 11, 2010 12:38:05 GMT
The year I was 13, I went to summer camp. One day, a few of us were helping in the office with filing and envelope stuffing. One of the administrators came over to our table and sat down. she said, "Girls, this is my birthday and I am 50 years old". Immediately most of the girls began fawning ... "oh surely not!" and "you don't look that old" and "nobody would ever guess." I don't believe I said anything but thought ... "is that all?"  With her gray hair back in a bun, her dowdy clothing, orthopedic shoes and lack of any makeup at all ... I'd have guessed 10 years older. das, I don't know about Texas women, but KY women - most I know, anyway - are quite fit and attractive well into their 50s. The pity is, it won't last forever, but for a few last years on that long middle-aged plateau, IF one makes the effort, mother nature is usually pretty generous. IMO, if women are saggy/baggy/wrinkly messes in their 50s, they have only themselves to blame. |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2010 20:24:02 GMT
Oh, but the joy of being older is being saggy/baggy/wrinkly messes and not caring a jot, because there are mounains to climb and places to see and gardens to sit in to soak up the sun, and new interests to pursue.
So this leaves no time to spend on appearances...if you even wanted to bother!
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Post by DAS (formerly BushAdmirer) on Aug 11, 2010 23:45:30 GMT
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Post by beth on Aug 12, 2010 0:00:00 GMT
Oh, but the joy of being older is being saggy/baggy/wrinkly messes and not caring a jot, because there are mounains to climb and places to see and gardens to sit in to soak up the sun, and new interests to pursue. So this leaves no time to spend on appearances...if you even wanted to bother! Doesn't cost anything to walk and play tennis and pass by extra servings. Taking care of our teeth costs a little but the rewards are great. I think the reason i was conscious early on is because my mother was older when I was born, but always looked great ... even compared to the younger moms of my friends. I had a 3rd child when I was older and didn't want to let her down by being an old mother. It's been a pleasure to keep on keeping on. To each his/her own.  |
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Post by riotgrrl on Aug 12, 2010 6:49:06 GMT
Interesting that you imply to be a CEO is necessarily to be male. Interesting that you imply to be a CEO is likely to mean that you are unprofessional at work and unable to reisist sexual temptation. You're like an episode of Madmen or something. Nowadays, Bushadmirer, women can be CEOs as well as temptresses. Welcome to the 21st century. |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2010 10:38:00 GMT
Doesn't cost anything to walk and play tennis and pass by extra servings. Taking care of our teeth costs a little but the rewards are great. Agreed. But you can do all those things, be fit and healthy and (quoting from your earlier post) have " gray hair back in a bun, .. dowdy clothing, orthopedic shoes and lack of any makeup at all ". I never wear make up now, though I used to, and this is totally liberating. My shoes aren't orthopedic but they are always flat and safe; older women balancing on heels is really not a pretty sight and it often leads to bad posture and injury. My hair is pepper and salt grey (too short for a bun) and I don't always comb it before going out. I quite like dowdy. It means you don't have to change between dog walking and shopping, and can go to the bank in your jodhpurs without giving a fig what anyone thinks. |
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Post by beth on Aug 12, 2010 15:14:25 GMT
Doesn't cost anything to walk and play tennis and pass by extra servings. Taking care of our teeth costs a little but the rewards are great. Agreed. But you can do all those things, be fit and healthy and (quoting from your earlier post) have " gray hair back in a bun, .. dowdy clothing, orthopedic shoes and lack of any makeup at all ". I never wear make up now, though I used to, and this is totally liberating. My shoes aren't orthopedic but they are always flat and safe; older women balancing on heels is really not a pretty sight and it often leads to bad posture and injury. My hair is pepper and salt grey (too short for a bun) and I don't always comb it before going out. I quite like dowdy. It means you don't have to change between dog walking and shopping, and can go to the bank in your jodhpurs without giving a fig what anyone thinks. Sky, I think it depends on the person. As long as we do what makes us happy and feel good about ourselves, there's no right or wrong. The part that gets me is das (for example) complaining, apparently not aware lots of 50s females are in good shape. He probably sees them but does not realize their age. |
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Post by DAS (formerly BushAdmirer) on Aug 14, 2010 1:37:46 GMT
Interesting that you imply to be a CEO is necessarily to be male. Interesting that you imply to be a CEO is likely to mean that you are unprofessional at work and unable to reisist sexual temptation. You're like an episode of Madmen or something. Nowadays, Bushadmirer, women can be CEOs as well as temptresses. Welcome to the 21st century. Riotgrrl - Most CEOs are male. Perhaps you didn't notice. Most males, including CEOs, are tempted by women who look like Jodie Fisher. They're not all going to succumb to this sort of opportunistic female as Mark Hurd did, but many will. It's in their genes.  |
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Post by firedancer on Aug 14, 2010 16:59:08 GMT
I think BushAdmirer means
"It's in their jeans" actually - or pinstripes, or chinos....
It's OK BA, we know you poor boys can't help it being the weaker sex an' all..
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Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2010 18:06:07 GMT
I'm not quite sure whether this belongs here on on the jokes thread, but hey....
A mature (over 50) lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for
drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please..
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk..
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
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Post by iamjumbo on Aug 14, 2010 21:34:54 GMT
I'm not quite sure whether this belongs here on on the jokes thread, but hey.... A mature (over 50) lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.. Older Woman: I can't do that. Officer: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too. that, is funny, and probably based on a true story |
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Post by iamjumbo on Aug 14, 2010 21:37:38 GMT
Love it. ;D (But I'm not over 50 yet . . looking forward to it now.) should. NO intelligent or rational man over fifty wants anything to do with a twenty something female. |
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Post by iamjumbo on Aug 14, 2010 21:40:15 GMT
I like women over 50 because they don't yell, they don't tell, and they don't swell. some do yell, and some still have long fingernails |
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With her gray hair back in a bun, her dowdy clothing, orthopedic shoes and lack of any makeup at all ... I'd have guessed 10 years older.
Nov 14, 2024 22:18:24 GMT
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Nov 14, 2024 22:18:24 GMT
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biglinmarshall.proboards.com/thread/7917/bits-pieces-magazine-issue-2024
Nov 4, 2024 17:39:29 GMT
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biglinmarshall.proboards.com/thread/7917/bits-pieces-magazine-issue-2024
Nov 4, 2024 17:39:29 GMT
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yay! 
thanks
Nov 2, 2024 17:09:05 GMT
Oct 23, 2024 18:34:05 GMT