__________________________________________________________
________________________________
issue six - february 14, 2013 ______
Our Valentines Day Issue________________________________________________________________________
From Big Lin...
OK, there's more to February than just Valentine's Day but it's the high point
and a good excuse to talk about love. It's also the shortest month and the only
one that has a leap year when the ladies can propose to the gentlemen! Anyway,
I'll start by thanking my loyal members and staff for helping to make this forum the
success it is. The 'Bits' philosophy - such as it is - is about open and free discussion,
consideration of different points of view, fairness and - in a way - about love.
Love isn't just romantic love; it's also love of family, friends, country, a
vision of life or whatever. As St Paul said, 'without love I am nothing.'
It's always easier to be selfish than unselfish, to hate rather than love,
bear grudges rather than forgive, see everyone as a threat rather than
an ally. There's a saying that a stranger is just a friend you haven't got
to know yet and on the whole I've found that to be true.
I know that the loved ones of British and American troops serving in
Afghanistan will be looking forward to Valentine's Day with a special
poignancy. Next year their mission ends and I pray for their safe
keeping and look forward to their return.
There are many people filled with a spirit of love and I hope that
on the whole our members are like that. Sadly not all people are
like that but I'm an eternal optimist and cherish the dream that
one day we can all live in harmony rather than seeing each other
as rivals or enemies.
We're particularly blessed in some of the newcomers who've joined
us and I wish them all the very best from the bottom of my heart.
'Love is gentle, love is kind,
Love is something if you find
It heals the pain within your soul
And makes you whole.'___________________________________________Our Member of The Month!Mike Marshall!We love you, Mike.Congratulations! ___________________________________________COMIC QUOTESMy mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That's how she learned how to swim. I said, "Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim." - Paula Poundstone I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second. - Steven Wright I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. - Steven WrightHonesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. - George Carlin A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice. - Bill CosbyIt all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes. - Jay London _________________________________________________________________________________ Delusions of A
Hopeful Pessimist
by Sadie1263
Sadie is married, with three grown sons and nine dogs.
She works for a family business, loves reading (just about
everything), watches a lot of TV and does a lot of dog walking!!
I have a confession. I’m a screamer. Now, I don’t mean that in a kinky way (or at least that is not what I’m admitting to here). I love to yell and vent and carry on. Usually I’m just playing around. My sons and I do it all the time and we are always kidding. My grandmother used to always yell at us if we weren’t finishing our plate of food... “You eat that or I kill you” (please say that with a heavy Spanish accent). We still do it in her honor and we entertain ourselves by judging who says it the most like her! We yell about all sorts of silly things and laugh ourselves silly most of the time.
I love to yell at people in traffic.......I don’t ever flip them off or really mean it, ok....yeah sometimes I do mean it......but it’s just fun and a great way to relieve stress....at least it is for me. My husband, as many of you know, is a law enforcement officer. He drives 98% of the time in a patrol car. So when he gets into the car with me.....he complains about my driving and everyone else’s. I constantly explain to him that he drives in Fantasy Land. Everyone does the speed limit around him.....everyone uses their blinker.....no one cuts him off......seriously.....he is in a fricking police car!!!! He drives in a bubble of goodness. It is insane. I’ve ridden in the car with him......it’s like Nirvana. That’s not what the rest of us deal with EVER! The drivers around us do all sorts of wild things and it’s almost like being in a demolition derby. They seem to always speed up to pass us...and then get in front of us and stop. They do all sorts of crazy stuff, put on make up, shave, read, not to mention texting!
To me...sometimes after a long, hard day at work...yelling at someone in traffic just seems to let all that pent up boiling steam all out! It’s even fun to make it more interesting.....maybe I make my vent all rhyme......or I think up new and silly things to call people, or I have to think up obscene names that start with the same letter as their type of car....or using letters in their license plates. It amuses me and I find I’m not as tense or stressed out as much.....or I’m so entertained I’ve forgotten what I was annoyed about to begin with.
If I could learn to drive and safely play with silly putty....I would probably be the happiest person on earth......seriously sometimes I can’t decide whether I need mental help or if I’m just extremely easy to entertain.
So next time you are in traffic......make it more fun for yourself.......and lessen your stress.......join me in being a screamer also!!
Now I’m off to play with a box of rubber bands. [/b]
______________________________________________________________________________________________
mikemarshall
Husband to BigLin who founded the site, Mike Marshall is a retired
college lecturer with a PhD in Philosophy. He and Lin have been
together 15 years - married for 12 - and have a son who's eleven
and a daughter aged seven. They make their way together, buying
and renovating real estate to sell and let. Here is another brilliant
article which he was kind enough to write for us.
_______________________________________________
Preconceptions
One of the most difficult areas of human life lies in our tendency to adopt preconceived ideas. They need not be overt prejudices but they certainly involve at least an initial distrust, even dislike of individuals, groups, belief systems and so on.
The principal offenders are those with rigid belief systems such as religious people, Marxists, neo-Nazis and the like. Even so preconceptions can occur in extraordinarily diverse areas of life.
I vividly recall an 18-year old redhead whom I met when I was aged 42. She was so beautiful that she took my breath away and yet men considered her unattractive because she was a flame-haired lady. Even now - I still see her occasionally - she has never had a boyfriend which I find incredible.
In the same way people fasten on a single aspect of an individual's personality or behaviour and allow that to 'define' them in their eyes. For example unconventional attitudes or a display of temper may lead to a person being wrongly labelled as mad, difficult or a positive trouble-maker.
A very common preconception is what I call 'the synecdochal fallacy.' In language synecdoche is using the part to signify the whole. Conceptually, for example, the fallacy goes 'some...are...therefore all (or at least most) are...'
Currently this fallacy is being extensively employed by racists and religious bigots. It is entirely without merit, transparently illogical and refuted factually by the burden of empirical evidence.
Naturally considerations such as logic or relationship to facts do not trouble the blocked-off 'reality' of those who prefer their comfortable prejudices to the uncomfortable and often blinding light of truth.
The Indian philosopher Krishnamurti decided that ALL concepts were vain, ALL opinions no more than preconceptions and all equally unworthy of being passed off as anything even resembling truth.
I would not go as far in my condemnation of concepts per se as Krishnamurti but I share his unease at the inability of many otherwise intelligent people to distinguish clearly between opinion and fact.
Life has taught me that on the whole it is better to shed one's preconceptions as much as possible and to at least attempt to view the world as honestly and open-mindedly as possible.
-by Linda MarshallWhere the grim smell of the factoryWafts fumes high up above,Lives the beautiful young girl Bella,Whom all the young boys love.She has flowing raven tressesThat the jealous wind caressesAll down her lovely face,At which boys long to gaze.A boy from a rough estateWho lives just up the roadSighs as he walks her street,His love a heavy load.With a can of spray paint in his handHe writes upon the wall:‘To hell with all the other young girls!Bella’s the fairest of all!’Even the people who, passing,Read his graffiti, smile,For just like Petrarch by LauraBy Bella the young boy’s beguiled.In this drab estate in South LondonThe youngster who loves her in vainDreams that one day he will win her,And free his heart from its pain.All over the world this artistWill display his undying love,On the walls of underground stations,On the clouds high up above.His words of love will burn so brightThat Bella cannot help but seeThe words he writes so hopelesslyIn the long dark night. __________________________________________________________________________________This is Cristina Rad __________________________________________________________________________________
Having sex while sick can reduce a fever due to the sweat produced. Sex is also
a pain reliever, ten times more effective than Valium: immediately before orgasm,
levels of the hormone oxytocin rise by five times, determining a huge release of
endorphins. These chemicals calm pain, from a minor headache to arthritis or migraines,
and with no secondary effects. Migraines also disappear because the pressure
in the brain's blood vessels is lowered while we have sex. So now we see that
actually, a woman's headache is rather a good reason for having sex, not against it.
__________________________________________________________________________________Valentine’s Day- by Hunny
Valentine’s Day is for people who want love Valentine’s Day is the traditional day on which lovers express their affection by giving cards, flowers, and chocolate. A holiday celebrated throughout the world, it has a long history of changing meaning and observance. The day is most closely associated with the mutual exchange of love notes in the form of "valentines". Since the 19th century, handwritten notes have largely given way to mass-produced greeting cards. It's estimated that one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year, behind Christmas.
HISTORY: Valentine's Day originates from the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia, a fertility celebration which was observed annually on February 13-15. The rise of Christianity in Europe saw many pre-existing holidays being renamed for, and dedicated to, the early Christian martyrs, and Lupercalia was no exception. In 496 AD, Pope Gelasius turned it into a Christian feast day and proclaimed it to be in honor of Saint Valentine, a Roman martyr who lived in the 3rd century.
Valentine was a Bishop who attracted the disfavor of Roman Emperor Claudius II ("Claudius The Cruel"), who had decided that single men made more willing soldiers than those with wives and families, and outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When his actions were discovered, Claudius ordered him jailed. Claudius met with Valentine, who refused to agree with the emperor regarding the ban on marriage, or to recognize Roman Gods, and he attempted to convert the emperor to Christianity. For this he was condemned to be beaten to death with clubs, and to have his head cut off.
While awaiting his sentence in prison, Valentine was approached by his jailer, Asterius, who asked him to heal his blind daughter. A friendship formed between Valentine and the girl who was greatly grieved to hear of her friend's imminent death. Just before his execution, Valentine asked for a pen and paper from his jailer, and signed a farewell message to her "From Your Valentine," a phrase that lived ever after.
LUPERCALIA: In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. Houses were ritually cleansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a type of wheat called spelt throughout their interiors. Lupercalia was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus. To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification. The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goat hide strips. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed being touched with the hides because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year.
Boys and girls were kept segregated in these times. However, the young people had a custom that began on the eve of the Festival each year. The girl’s names were written down, and put into jars. Each boy then drew a girl's name and they were partners throughout the Festival. After being paired, the children would often continue to see each other throughout the year and on occasion even fell in love and get married.
The Christian conquerors, wanting to replace the existing culture with one of their own invention, and control, recast the people's cherished history and traditions as ungodly and sinful, by saying they'd been having "a sex lottery". Pope Gelasius ordered a change: instead of the names of young women, the jars would now contain the names of saints. Both men and women were allowed to draw from the jars, and the 'game' was to emulate the ways of the saint they drew during the rest of the year. Needless to say, the Romans were not pleased with the change. They'd had their God taken away, their holiday and their traditions. And in its stead - for hundreds of years to come- people would now be obligated to eat way too much food as a way of showing they'd like to emulate a man who'd never had sex in his life, because repression was now to be considered preferable to health.
The irony in this is that the Christians chose Valentine -who symbolized disobeying unfair restriction on people's love lives- as the symbol of again, and forevermore, imposing restriction.
CHAUCER'S LOVE BIRDS: So Lupercalia had been recast as "St. Valentine’s Day", a Christian day of feasting, to dedicate ones self platonically to the ideals of a religious martyr. It was not until 1381 that the day again became associated with love, when Chaucer composed a poem in honor of the engagement between England's Richard II and Anne of Bohemia (both of whom were 15, at the time). As was the poetic tradition, Chaucer associated the occasion with a feast day. In "The Parliament of Fowls," the royal engagement, the mating season of birds, and St. Valentine's Day are linked: "For this was on St. Valentine's Day, when every fowl cometh there to choose his mate." Knight and Lady with Birds
The knight kneels in homage to his lady, as he receives his helmet.
In the background, birds frolic in a tree, reminiscent of the medieval tradition
that the pairing of the birds occurred around Saint Valentine's Day.
MEDIEVAL PERIOD AND THE ENGLISH RENAISSANCE: Valentine's Day took off soon after that--it fit in perfectly with the French nobility's ongoing infatuation with courtly love. While the term "courtly love" wasn't coined until the late 1800's, the principles of it can be found in literature dating as far back as the 12th century. In this idealized vision of romance, a knight or nobleman would fall in love with a beautiful woman--always a woman of a higher class, and usually somebody else's wife. His love would be unattainable, but he would still work to make himself worthy of her by undertaking dangerous quests in her name and performing any harrowing task she might ask for. Courtly love is found everywhere in literature from the legends of King Arthur to the poetry of Plutarch and Shakespeare.
On Valentines Day, in 1400, a "High Court of Love" was founded in Paris. It was an attempt to apply the language of law at the time to romantic conflicts including betrayals, violence against women, and contracts of love. The court's judges were chosen by women, based on the eloquence of their poetry!
MODERN TIMES: In 1797, a British publisher issued The Young Man’s Valentine Writer, which contained scores of suggested sentimental verses for the young lover unable to compose his own. Printers had already begun producing a limited number of cards with verses and sketches, called “mechanical valentines,” and a reduction in postal rates in the next century ushered in the less personal but easier practice of mailing Valentines. That, in turn, made it possible for the first time to exchange cards anonymously, which is taken as the reason for the sudden appearance of racy verse in an era otherwise prudishly Victorian.
Paper Valentines became so popular in England in the early 19th century that they were assembled in factories. Fancy Valentines were made with real lace and ribbons, with paper lace introduced in the mid-19th century. In the UK, just under half the population spend money on their Valentines and around 1.3 billion pounds is spent yearly on cards, flowers, chocolates and other gifts, with an estimated 25 million cards being sent. The reinvention of Saint Valentine's Day in the 1840s has been traced by Leigh Eric Schmidt. As a writer in Graham's American Monthly observed in 1849, "Saint Valentine's Day... is becoming, nay it has become, a national holyday."
In the United States, the first mass-produced valentines of embossed paper lace were produced and sold shortly after 1847 by Esther Howland (1828–1904) of Worcester, Massachusetts. Her father operated a large book and stationery store, but Howland took her inspiration from an English Valentine she had received from a business associate of her father. Intrigued with the idea of making similar Valentines, Howland began her business by importing paper lace and floral decorations from England. The English practice of sending Valentine's cards was established enough to feature as a plot device in Elizabeth Gaskell's Mr. Harrison's Confessions (1851): "I burst in with my explanations: '"The valentine I know nothing about." '"It is in your handwriting," said he coldly. Since 2001, the Greeting Card Association has been giving an annual "Esther Howland Award for a Greeting Card Visionary."
The mid-19th century Valentine's Day trade was a harbinger of further commercialized holidays in the United States to follow. In the second half of the 20th century, the practice of exchanging cards was extended to all manner of gifts in the United States. Such gifts typically include roses and chocolates packed in a red satin, heart-shaped box. In the 1980s, the diamond industry began to promote Valentine's Day as an occasion for giving jewelry. The day has come to be associated with a generic platonic greeting of "Happy Valentine's Day." As a joke, Valentine's Day is also referred to as "Singles Awareness Day". In some North American elementary schools, children decorate classrooms, exchange cards, and eat candy.
Approximately 190 million valentines are sent each year in the US. Half of those valentines are given to family members other than husband or wife, usually to children. When you include the valentine-exchange cards made in school activities the figure goes up to 1 billion, and teachers become the people receiving the most valentines.
The rise of the Internet created new traditions. Millions of people use, every year, digital means of creating and sending Valentine's Day messages such as e-cards, love coupons or printable greeting cards.
There are some families, however, who choose to find other means of honoring Saint Valentine on Valentine's Day. Many of these traditions involve bonfires, for fire is said to represent passion.
_____________________________________________________
IN MY OPINION... the idea that people used to give hand-written notes expressing
love, and sometimes a love yet unspoken, is a charming notion!
_____________________________________________________
We also associate love, and Valentine’s Day, with Cupid! In Roman mythology, Cupid
(Latin, meaning "desire") is the god of erotic love and beauty. The son of Venus
(goddess of love) and Mercury (the messenger god), Cupid is often depicted with
wings, a bow, and a quiver of arrows, and is thought to shoot one into someone’s
heart occasionally, causing them to fall in love with the first person they see!
VALENTINES DAY IS CELEBRATED IN DIFFERENT WAYS, IN DIFFERENT COUNTRIES
EUROPE... While sending cards, flowers, chocolates and other gifts is traditional
in the UK , Valentine's Day has various regional customs. In Norfolk, a character called 'Jack' Valentine knocks on the rear door of houses leaving sweets and presents for children. Although he was leaving treats, many children were scared of this mystical person.
In Wales, many people celebrate St Dwynwen's Day on January 25 instead of (or as well as) Valentine's Day. The day commemorates St Dwynwen, the patron saint of Welsh lovers.
In France, a traditionally Catholic country, Valentine's Day is known simply as "Saint Valentin", and is celebrated in much the same way as other western countries.
In Spain . Valentine's Day is known as "San Valentín" and is celebrated the same way as in the UK, although in Catalonia it is largely superseded by similar festivities of rose and/or book giving on Saint George's Day.
In Portugal , it is more commonly referred to as "Dia dos Namorados" (Lover's Day / Day of those that are in love with each other).
In Denmark and Norway , Valentine's Day (14 Feb) is known as Valentinsdag. It is not celebrated to a large extent, but is largely imported from American culture, and some people take time to eat a romantic dinner with their partner, to send a card to a secret love or give a red rose to their loved one. The flower industry in particular is still working on promoting the holiday there.
In Sweden , it is called Alla hjärtans dag ("All Hearts' Day") and was launched in the 1960s by the flower industry's commercial interests, and due to the influence of American culture. It is not an official holiday, but its celebration is recognized and sales of cosmetics and flowers for this holiday are only exceeded by those for Mother's Day.
In Finland , Valentine's Day is called Ystävänpäivä which translates into "Friend's day". As the name indicates, this day is more about remembering all your friends, not only your loved ones.
In Estonia , Valentine's Day is called Sõbrapäev, which has the same meaning.
In Slovenia , a proverb says that "St Valentine brings the keys of roots," so on February 14, plants and flowers start to grow. Valentine's Day has been celebrated as the day when the first work in the vineyards and in the fields commences. It is also said that birds propose to each other or marry on that day. Nevertheless, it has only recently been celebrated as the day of love. The day of love is traditionally March 12, the Saint Gregory's day. Another proverb says "Valentin – first saint of spring", as in some places (especially White Carniola) Saint Valentine marks the beginning of spring.
In Romania , the traditional holiday for lovers is Dragobete, which is celebrated on February 24. It is named after a character from Romanian folklore who was supposed to be the son of Baba Dochia. Part of his name is the word drag ("dear"), which can also be found in the word dragoste ("love"). In recent years, Romania has also started celebrating Valentine's Day, despite already having Dragobete as a traditional holiday. This has drawn backlash from many groups, reputable persons and institutions but also nationalist organizations like Noua Dreaptǎ, who condemn Valentine's Day for being superficial, commercial and imported Western kitsch.
Valentine's Day is called Sevgililer Günü
in Turkey, which translates into "Sweethearts' Day".
According to Jewish tradition , the 15th day of the month of Av – Tu B'Av (usually late August) is the festival of love. In ancient times girls would wear white dresses and dance in the vineyards, where the boys would be waiting for them. In modern Israeli culture this is a popular day to pronounce love, propose marriage and give gifts like cards or flowers.
CENTRAL AND SOUTH AMERICA... In some Latin American countries Valentine's Day is known as "Día del Amor y la Amistad" (Day of Love and Friendship). For example
Mexico, Costa Rica, and Ecuador,as well others. Although it is similar to the United States' version in many ways, it is also common to see people do "acts of appreciation" for their friends.
In Guatemala , it is known as the "Día del Cariño" (Day of the Affection).
In Brazil , the Dia dos Namorados (lit. "Day of the Enamored", or "Boyfriends'/Girlfriends' Day") is celebrated on June 12, when couples exchange gifts, chocolates, cards and flower bouquets. This day was chosen probably because it is the day before the Festa junina (Saint Anthony's day), known there as the marriage saint, when traditionally many single women perform popular rituals, called simpatias, in order to find a good husband or boyfriend. The February 14's Valentine's Day is not celebrated at all, mainly for cultural and commercial reasons, since it usually falls too little before or after Carnival, a major floating holiday in Brazil — long regarded as a holiday of sex and debauchery by many in the country — that can fall anywhere from early February to early March.
In Venezuela , in 2009, President Hugo Chávez said in a meeting to his supporters for the upcoming referendum vote on February 15, that "since on the 14th, there will be no time of doing nothing, nothing or next to nothing ... maybe a little kiss or something very superficial", he recommended people to celebrate a week of love after the referendum vote.
In most of South America , the Día del amor y la amistad and the Amigo secreto ("Secret friend") are quite popular and usually celebrated together on the 14 of February (one exception is Colombia, where it is celebrated every third Saturday of September). The latter consists of randomly assigning to each participant a recipient who is to be given an anonymous gift (similar to the Christmas tradition of Secret Santa).
ASIA... Thanks to a concentrated marketing effort, Valentine's Day is celebrated in some Asian countries with
Singaporeans, Chinese and South Koreans spending the most money on Valentine's gifts.
In South Korea, similar to Japan, women give chocolate to men on February 14, and men give non-chocolate candy to women on March 14 (White Day). On April 14 (Black Day), those who did not receive anything on the 14th of Feb or March go to a Chinese restaurant to eat black noodles (자장면 jajangmyeon) and "mourn" their single life. Koreans also celebrate Pepero Day on November 11, when young couples give each other Pepero cookies. The date '11/11' is intended to resemble the long shape of the cookie. The 14th of every month marks a love-related day in Korea, although most of them are obscure. From January to December: Candle Day, Valentine's Day, White Day, Black Day, Rose Day, Kiss Day, Silver Day, Green Day, Music Day, Wine Day, Movie Day, and Hug Day. Korean women give a much higher amount of chocolate than Japanese women.
In China , the common situation is the man gives chocolate, flowers or both to the woman that he loves. Traditional Chinese Valentine's day is called "qixi" in pinyin, and is celebrated on the 7th day of the 7th month of the lunar calendar, commemorating a fabled day on which the cow-herder and weaving maid are allowed to be together. Modern Valentine’s Day is also celebrated on February 14 of the solar calendar each year.
In Taiwan , the situation is the reverse of Japan's. Men give gifts to women in Valentine's Day, and women return them in White Day.
In the Philippines , Valentine's Day is called "Araw ng mga Puso" or "Hearts Day". It is usually marked by a steep increase in the prices of flowers.
In Japan , Morozoff Ltd. introduced the holiday for the first time in 1936, when it ran an advertisement aimed at foreigners. Later in 1953 it began promoting the giving of heart-shaped chocolates; other Japanese confectionery companies followed suit thereafter. In 1958 the Isetan department store ran a "Valentine sale". Further campaigns during the 1960’s popularized the custom.
The custom that only women give chocolates to men appears to have originated from the typo of a chocolate-company executive during the initial campaigns. In particular, office ladies give chocolate to their co-workers. Unlike western countries, gifts such as greeting cards, candies, flowers, or dinner dates are uncommon, and most of the activity about the gifts is about giving the right amount of chocolate to each person. Japanese chocolate companies make half their annual sales during this time of the year.
Many women feel obliged to give chocolates to all male co-workers, except when the 14th falls on a Sunday, a holiday. This is known as giri-choko (義理チョコ), from giri ("obligation") and choko, ("chocolate"), with unpopular co-workers receiving only "ultra-obligatory" chō-giri choko cheap chocolate. This contrasts with honmei-choko (本命チョコ, Favorite chocolate); chocolate given to a loved one. Friends, especially girls, may exchange chocolate referred to as tomo-choko (友チョコ); from tomo meaning "friend".
In the 1980s the Japanese National Confectionery Industry Association launched a successful campaign to make March 14 a "reply day", where men are expected to return the favor to those who gave them chocolates on Valentine's Day, calling it White Day for the color of the chocolates being offered. A previous failed attempt to popularize this celebration had been done by a marshmallow manufacturer who wanted men to return marshmallows to women.
Men are expected to return gifts that are at least two or three times more valuable than the gifts received in Valentine's Day. Not returning the gift is perceived as the man placing himself in a position of superiority, even if excuses are given. Returning a present of equal value is considered as a way to say that you are cutting the relationship. Originally only chocolate was given, but now the gifts of jewelry, accessories, clothing and lingerie are usual. According to the official website of White Day, the color white was chosen because it's the color of purity, evoking "pure, sweet teen love", and because it's also the color of sugar. The initial name was "Ai ni Kotaeru White Day" (Answer Love on White Day).
In Japan, the romantic "date night" associated to Valentine's Day is celebrated in Christmas Eve.
In a 2006 survey of people between 10 and 49 years of age in Japan, Oricon Style found the 1986 Sayuri Kokushō single, Valentine Kiss, to be the most popular Valentine's Day song, even though it sold only 317,000 copies. The singles it beat in the ranking were number one selling Love Love Love from Dreams Come True (2,488,630 copies), Valentine's Radio from Yumi Matsutoya (1,606,780 copies), Happy Happy Greeting from the Kinki Kids (608,790 copies). The final song in the top five was My Funny Valentine by miles Davis.
SIMILAR ASIAN TRADITIONS... In Chinese culture , there is an older observance related to lovers, called "The Night of Sevens" (Chinese: 七夕; pinyin: Qi Xi). According to the legend, the Cowherd star and the Weaver Maid star are normally separated by the milky way (silvery river) but are allowed to meet by crossing it on the 7th day of the 7th month of the Chinese calendar.
In Japan , a slightly different version of 七夕 called Tanabata has been celebrated for centuries, on July 7 (Gregorian calendar). It has been considered by Westerners as similar to St. Valentine's Day, but it's not related to it, and its origins are completely different.
In India , in the antiquity, there was a tradition of adoring Kamadev, the lord of love; exemplified by the erotic carvings in the Khajuraho Group of Monuments and by the writing of the Kamasutra treaty of lovemaking. This tradition was lost around the Middle Ages, when Kamadev was no longer celebrated, and public displays of sexual affections became frowned upon.[60] Around 1992 Valentine's Day started catching in India, with special TV and radio programs, and even love letter competitions. The economic liberation also helped the Valentine card industry.
In modern times, Hindu and Islamic traditionalists consider the holiday to be cultural contamination from the West, result of the globalization in India. Shiv Sena and the Sangh Parivar have asked their followers to shun the holiday and the "public admission of love" because of them being "alien to Indian culture". These protests are organized by political elites, but the protesters themselves are middle-class Hindu men who fear that the globalization will destroy the traditions in his society: arranged marriages, Hindu joint families, full-time mothers etc.
Despite these obstacles, Valentine's Day is becoming increasingly popular in India. However, leftist and liberal critiques of Valentine's Day remain strong in India. Valentine's Day has been strongly criticized from a post-colonial perspective by intellectuals from the Indian left. The holiday is regarded as a front for Western imperialism, neocolonialism, and the exploitation of working classes through commercialism by multinational corporations. Studies have shown that Valentine's Day promotes and exacerbates income inequality in India, and aids in the creation of a pseudo-westernized middle class. As a result, the working classes and rural poor become more disconnected socially, politically, and geographically from the hegemonic capitalist power structure. They also criticize mainstream media attacks on Indians opposed to Valentine's Day as a form of demonization that is designed and derived to further the Valentine's Day agenda.
MIDDLE EAST...In Egypt , Egyptians celebrate Valentine's Day on February 14, and the indigenous Eid el-Hob el-Masri (Egyptian Love Day) on November 4, to buy gifts, and flowers for their lover's. It has been recorded on the February 14th, 2006 flower movement in the country, worth six million pounds, formed a gain of 10 per-cent of the total annual sale of flower's.
In Iran , the Sepandarmazgan, or Esfandegan, is an age-old traditional celebration of love, friendship and Earth. It has nothing in common with the Saint Valentine celebration, except for a superficial similarity in giving affection and gifts to loved ones, and its origins and motivations are completely unrelated. It has been progressively forgotten in favor of the Western celebration of Valentine's Day. The Association of Iran's Cultural and Natural Phenomena has been trying since 2006 to make Sepandarmazgan a national holiday on 17 February, in order to replace the Western holiday.
In Israel , the Tu B'Av, is considered to be the Jewish Valentine's Day following the ancient traditions of courtship on this day. Today, this is celebrated as a second holiday of love by secular people (besides Saint Valentine's Day), and shares many of the customs associated with Saint Valentine's Day in western societies.[/color]
Bits & Pieces
CONTRIBUTING STAFF
Big Lin
MikeMarshall
Sadie1263
Hunny
Donna
Chips
__________________________________________________
If you have anything you'd like to submit to be printed in next month's issue, send it to Hunny (click). Copyrighted material re-printed herein is with permission, or for purpose of review or education, by allowance - in the U.S. - of the Fair Use Act.
We do not claim ownership of said material. Our writers do claim copyright of their own material, by-lined or not. To contact the Editor, click here.