Let's Trash Something!

This week's victim: Canada.





*This is meant as humor. If you are from Canada, and feel upset:

1) Head for the hills, because we really are going to invade,
because we hate you, hate you, hate you.

2) Please do something about how your heads are in two halves.

3) Square wheels??? (What's up with that? Was that Scott's idea? (What a dick!)

4) And, finally, what's so good about Molson beer anyway? *blink*

Canada, the land where men are men, women are women, and sheep are freaking scared.

The Prime minister of Canada today gave a speech to the students at the university of Quebec on the importance of safe sex.... As he proceeded afterwords to brand the sheep that kick.

32 above - Distilled water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.

20 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats. Canadians throw on a t-shirt.

15 above - Californians begin to evacuate the state. Canadians go swimming.

Zero - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Canadians have the last cook-out before it gets cold.

10 below - People in Miami cease to exist. Canadians lick flag poles.

20 below - Californians fly away to Mexico. Canadians throw on a light jacket.

40 below - Hollywood disintegrates. Canadians rent videos.

60 below - Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.

80 below - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

100 below - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

173 below - Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.

297 below - Microbial life survives on dairy products. Canadian cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

460 below - ALL atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying"Cold'nuff for ya?"

500 below - Hell freezes over. The Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup

I was talking to a Canadain the other day and he asked if I ever notice the geese when they fly south for the winter. I said yes. He said well they fly in a V shape pattern and one side is always longer. He said I can't figure out why. I look at him and said, because there are more birds on that side.

An older woman is not necessarily lacking in sex appeal or physical beauty.

I recall seeing Debbie Harry on TV only about three years ago and she still appeared to have almost as much sexual magnetism as she possessed in her younger days.

Madonna of course is different; Debbie had a heart while IMO Madonna only has an ego and a bank balance. Debbie gave up her career to nurse her partner back to health; I cannot imagine the narcissistic Madonna behaving in a similar fashion.

To answer the specific question my guess is that her agents would tell her when she was no longer 'marketable.'

Well....no matter what you say about her.....she has been a master at self promotion. I like some of her songs......but would never go out of my way to buy an album. I don't care for her but can admire that she has stayed relevant in an industry that chews them up and spits them out fairly quickly.

I look at those pics and believe that she needs to stop the weird stuff. She's going over the line when she no longer has to........think she lacks taste and it's going over into being creepy now.

By the way, the name of this thread is "Let's Trash Something!", the spirit of which is that you should feel free to be a hooligan about it, take your best shot. Ever see a roast? Like that. It's all in fun, and in the end I give the subject some due credit.

What we're doing here is more like discussing her, which is fine if that's how it goes. But I will have to think of good things to say about her when the week's topic closes. So I'm saying don't be worried about being nice and fair and all that. The usual social rules get suspended at a roast

Here I'll give an example:

It's just been announced they are putting Madonna on a stamp.
The stamp has a very special feature -- after you lick it,
it licks you back.

Q: Did you hear about Madonna’s more modest work in her new videos?
A: Neither did we.

Q: What’s the difference between Madonna and a killer shark?
A: A man is better off being eaten by a shark

Q: Did you hear about the big fight that Madonna, Cher, Jewel and Fabio had?
A: They're no longer on a first name basis.

Q: Difference between Madonna and the Titanic?
A: More people have gone down on Madonna.

(Yikes. I didnt write these!

If she ever has twin boys, she can name them Neil and Bob.



I like Leno's take on Madonna's pregnancy. When it was pointed out
to Jay Leno that Madonna wanted to have a baby because she felt her
biological clock was ticking, Leno said "Now there's a clock that
takes a licking and keeps on ticking..."