Bad Poetry Contest

I'll have a go at this; the bad poem is easy enough but not so sure I can come up with a good one!

Here's my entry for the Bad Poem contest!

Gun ho

After I'd spent a night in shining armour
waiting in vain for my long-desired amour
I felt betrayed; you weren't so much a charmer
as a self-centred, patronising boor.

I knew you kept a pistol and a rifle
and that you'd often said it was a trifle
to load and fire the things and make them go,
and then that night you said I was a ho.

so I went out and bought myself a gun
and took it home and loaded it with bullets
and thought I'd go and have myself some fun
by killing you, instead of killing pullets

but somehow I got lost along the way
and when I tried to get the thing to shoot
I simply couldn't; much to my dismay
I found in spite of all you were quite cute!

so though my trigger finger was quite ready,
my gun was primed, my angry hand was steady,
I had to curse and swear instead of killing
you; the flesh was weak, the spirit willing,
but all in vain I brought my piece to bear
upon you: so I fired into the air
and in the end I had to let you go,
not leave you bleeding in the winter snow.

;D I got a chuckle out of that one. Oh this was a goo d idea. I like bad poetry!

Wow, Hunny, that's even worse than mine!

A bad poem entry:

Love and sex

love is love and sex is sex
and sometimes both just seem to vex
a lot of folk; it's like a hex,
no balances, no checks,
only confusion to perplex
you through the wall of perspex
that stops you on your endless treks
and turns you 'S.O.' to your 'ex!'

I went along to the T.U.C.
to get myself a cup of tea, you see -
immortal beverage beloved by 'chars'
but don't inebriate except perhaps on far off stars!

There is. You may submit good or bad poetry (there are two categories, even though the contest is named 'Bad' Poetry.
I'd love to read some! I can extend the deadline till Tuesday night.